Fantasizing
by Levi Ackerman
Summary: "Since it's 72 hours of anything the user wants, it could be turned into a more positive experience too, right?" The '72 hours of you banging me' went unsaid. With Itachi back, Sasuke can't help but fantasize. UCHIHACEST ITASASU with some ITADEI SASUNARU
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto. Or Itachi. I wish I did. Really, I do._

_Author's Note: Well… so… _

_I guess I'll start with the warnings._

**_RATED M FOR sMut. Lemon. Anal. All of that. If it bothers you, don't read._**

**_Uchihacest. It's wrong. It's sinful. I know. That's why it's so utterly delicious._**

_ItaSasu (sort of one-sided) along with a few other minor pairings (SasuNaru, ItaDei, and one tiny itsy-bitsy mention of NejiTen which I had to slip in)_

**_SPOILERS FOR MANGA CHAPTER 550._**

_The first paragraph is basically the events of what happens in my other ItaSasu (fluff not Uchihacest) story. After that this divulges into something a lot more – well more. There is a lot of dirty fantasizing, misuse of kagebunshins and jacking off. Don't say I didn't warn you.  
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_Please review! Please :3 _

-/_\-

When Sasuke saw Itachi for the first time, the first time in months – his heart nearly stopped. Susanoo's blazing form immediately dissipated around him, and Sasuke froze, trembling violently. His dark eyes – Itachi's eyes – widened, the Mangekyou Sharingan spinning furiously, as Sasuke tried, struggled, to see through the illusion.

Because only a genjutsu of the cruelest sort could fill him with that much emotion, that much _feeling, _when all he'd been attempting to do for the last three years of his life was shut it all out.

It was an ingenious illusion, one crafted precisely to hit him where it _hurt, _because seeing those dark eyes that haunted his every dream and waking nightmare – it was unimaginable.

And yet, there he was, the man who had filled Sasuke's early nightmares, the man who then flipped his world upside down and flitted through his dreams: his older brother, his precious aniki, Itachi Uchiha.

He seemed tangible, and real and perfect, so perfect, that Sasuke had a hard time dispelling the genjutsu. Everything about him was just as Sasuke had remembered (and he had remembered for he had obsessed over Itachi for every single year of his life, though the extent of the obsession ranged from adoration to murderous to perhaps something else that Sasuke didn't dare think about).

The angled jaw, the high contours of his cheekbones, the softness in those impossibly dark eyes, the slant of his eyebrows, the barely-noticeable quirk of his lips…

Right in front of him, right there, close, so close – if only he was real and he could reach out and touch him, run his fingertips against that cheek.

He was there, he was tangible – and he was speaking. And when he spoke, his voice was as velvety as ever and a shock cascaded through Sasuke's spine, wracking his very core, and he couldn't help but cry out.

"NII-SAN!

"Sasuke, I-"

"KAI! KAI!"

Sasuke frantically tried to dispel the genjutsu, as tears, real tears, streamed down his cheeks, mixing with the trails of blood.

But then warm fingers curled around his wrist, and Itachi was closer now, and tangible, and touching him – _Itachi was touching him – _and Sasuke's world exploded.

The rest of what happened after that was a blur, a haze of memories and rising spirits, and an expanding happiness that Sasuke hadn't known or experienced in ten years. He finally began to make sense of what Itachi was saying, the words being shaped by those perfect, perfect lips.

_Madara… Edo-tensei… transferred some of my power to Naruto… layered genjutsu... Shisui's eyes… backfired on me… freeing me from Madara's control… _

It was unbelievable, incredible, _too _good to be true.

How Itachi managed to convince Sasuke to abandon his revenge – when Naruto had been desperately attempting to do the same for years with countless vain battles to the death – was still a mystery to some.

But not to Sasuke.

In his mind, it all flowed very logically, very simply.

Itachi was back.

His big brother, the most precious person in his life – was back.

When with Itachi, Sasuke was no longer the powerful, vengeful, S-class missing-nin. He was just a little boy who wanted nothing but the acceptance of his older brother, who had no larger quest but to be with Itachi for as long as possible, whose entire life revolved around sticking to Itachi and never letting him go.

Itachi was a loyal ally of Konoha. Once the war had ended, Itachi wanted to reintegrate himself with the village.

The notion of vengeance puffed away from Sasuke's mentality like a shadow clone jutsu, and it was almost as if it were never there in the first place.

Itachi wanted to stay in Konoha. Sasuke wanted to stay with Itachi. By default, Sasuke would stay in Konoha as well.

He agreed to this almost instantaneously, his dark eyes never leaving his brothers. And then Itachi smiled, a warm smile that made his eyes crinkle and Sasuke's heart both leapt and melted at the same time.

He'd do anything if he could see that beautiful expression on his brother's face.

"Sasuke," Itachi had said softly, voice washing over Sasuke's battered form like water, easing the pain away, "I – I'm proud of you."

And then Sasuke had bolted, running straight at his brother, burying his face in Itachi's warm, firm chest, breathing in the scent of him, his hands unabashedly clutching at the strands of Itachi's long hair.

It was something he'd wanted to for years.

He had felt Itachi stiffen for a fleeting moment, and then relax, and then warm arms came to wrap around him, a hand stroking his back soothingly while the other was pressed against his head, Itachi's fingers barely tugging at his tousled hair.

"Nii-san… nii-san…" Sasuke had sobbed, and Itachi had held him tightly, and Sasuke had never felt more important, more _loved _in his entire life.

When Itachi had finally pulled away, Sasuke hadn't let him at first, tightening his grip on his brother's shirt, but Itachi had just smiled slightly, before two fingers poked lightly at Sasuke's forehead, a heart-wrenchingly familiar gesture.

"Sorry Sasuke, but there's still a war going on. Later, okay?"

This time, Sasuke knew he could hold Itachi to his word.

-/_\-

Getting Sasuke's punishment and missing-nin status revoked had been easier than expected. Though Naruto's screeching and relentless debacles with the exasperated Hokage, and Sakura's more diplomatic pleading had worked in his favor – it was eventually Itachi who had turned the tables.

Konoha owed Itachi, and even if the stubborn, crooked elders didn't acknowledge that, a mere narrowing of eyes of Itachi's part, allowing his Sharingan to morph into the Mangekyou – was more than enough.

Tsunade had agreed almost immediately, but Homura and Koharu soon caved in. They knew that Itachi had sacrificed more than anyone for Konoha; and they also knew that with his power, if he ever tried (though he was too noble and loyal to try) he could probably destroy it as well.

They also knew that Itachi weighed Sasuke's life as more precious than Konoha, something he'd already demonstrated ten years ago. So, much to Naruto and Sakura's combined delight, they let him off without too much serious punishment.

-/_\-

Itachi and Sasuke moved into their old home in the Uchiha compound, and the idea of such proximity with his older brother thrilled Sasuke. It was almost like the old times.

Sasuke joined the newly reformed Team Seven, and Itachi was instantaneously granted status as Jounin. Sasuke knew he wasn't willing to take on ANBU again for obvious reasons; which was all the better for them. As Jounin, Itachi was usually about as busy as Sasuke was with Team Seven. He was given solo missions most of the time, whereas Sasuke would either go on missions with either only Sakura or Naruto, both of them, or the entirely squad including Kakashi.

A part of Sasuke greatly craved missions with Itachi. A part of him was somewhat relieved he didn't have them. Sasuke knew the circumstances of his defeating Itachi, and he knew that Itachi greatly outclassed him and perhaps any ninja living in any of the Hidden Villages. Though he knew his brother would never look down upon him or mock him (all the previous mockery had been but an act) he still felt slightly embarrassed and jumpy at the thought of those dark, all-seeing eyes watching his every move, analyzing and assessing his technique.

There was one time though, when Itachi was assigned to the same mission as Sasuke, as a replacement for Kakashi. Sasuke had to control his hammering heart and the growing excitement mingled with anxiety that arose in his chest at the sight of his brother, clad in his ninja gear, looking like some sort of an angel, or God.

The Jounin vest and sleeveless shirt with dark pants was standard Jounin attire. But the way the sunlight hit Itachi's muscled arms as they flitted through the trees… the way his perfect hair streamed behind him as they leapt… the way he moved, with such fluidity and powerful grace… the way Sasuke could see the flexing of his calf muscles through the dark cloth of his pants… it was all too entrancing, too _distracting. _

And the way Itachi precisely and methodically dispatched of enemies – looking far too cool and calm, not a facial muscle out of place, not a drop of extra blood spilt or excess chakra wasted. He had perfected the method of killing, making it look like a flawlessly orchestrated art form rather than crude manslaughter.

Even Naruto was in obvious awe of him, dark blue eyes wide as they swept over Itachi's form in action. Sakura, on the other hand, had been reduced to a blushing pink disaster in that mission. Though she'd been a fangirl around Sasuke in her earlier days, even that couldn't compare to how she was with Itachi; with Itachi she was so infatuated that she couldn't dare to sputter out a few words in his presence, forget asking him out or complimenting him. She just watched him with perpetually glazed green eyes and a look of absolute adoration on her face.

It made a dark pang of something – something possessive – perhaps jealousy – flare up within Sasuke, as he watched Sakura – and Naruto – watch Itachi.

Sakura wasn't the only one though. Sasuke's fanclub had instantaneously diminished upon his return to Konoha, and Sasuke would have been glad; if not for the fact that every single one of the fangirls was now hopelessly in love with Itachi.

Itachi was a more pleasing source of affection. He was polite and pleasant unlike the perpetually scowling and scoffing Sasuke, he spoke to everyone in an amicable manner, he was taller and was considered more handsome.

Sasuke had caught even Shizune and Tsunade shooting him covert, appreciative glances every once in a while. Ino had declared him the 'hottest bachelor in Konoha', and Sasuke had caught her doing what he was sure could have been classified as stalking; she had darted off at the sight of _him _though. Ever since Itachi's return, Ino hadn't bothered to give Sasuke the time of the day.

Hinata, despite her longtime crush on Naruto, couldn't help but gaze dreamily whenever Itachi walked by. Tenten, despite the fact that she was now officially dating Neji Hyuuga, couldn't help but blush when she saw the older Uchiha, much to said Hyuuga's dismay. Even Temari – the arrogant, confident Temari, who continued her affair or _whatever _it was with her lazy lover – found herself speechless when Itachi, by chance, had spoken to her.

And all of that annoyed Sasuke, ignited a jealous possessiveness that raged within him like the never-ending flames of Amaterasu.

Itachi was _his, _god damnit, his alone. Those eyes, that smile, that face – it was all reserved for _him._

Besides, Sasuke thought to himself rather smugly, Itachi had admitted that he cared more about Sasuke than all of Konoha – _all of them _– combined.

-/_\-

Sasuke gradually realized what was happening. He realized how _wrong _his fixation with Itachi was, how _wrong _his possessiveness was becoming.

But he couldn't help it – Itachi was perfect, so perfect. And Sasuke was addicted to him, in a far more dangerous and disturbing way than he should have been. And that addiction only intensified, and Sasuke knew that no matter how hard he fought, he would never be able to escape it, escape him, escape Itachi.

It was one of those battles, like most battles related to his brother, which he would always lose.

-/_\-

The Sharingan was an excellent dojutsu and an invaluable ninja tool. But sometimes, in his darker moments, Sasuke wished, in spite of himself, that he possessed the Byakugan.

They lived together, so Sasuke saw Itachi plenty. But then there was that one incident, where Sasuke saw more, more of his brother than he ever had, and it only left him craving, _needing _more.

Itachi had stepped out of the shower, with only a towel hanging loosely, wrapped around his hips. Sasuke could see his brother's hipbones peaking out. He could also see the in plain view, the curve of his biceps, the muscles of his chest, and the wonderful six-pack abs that flexed, ever so slightly, as Itachi toweled his hair. His damp hair lay loose around his strong shoulders, framing his face. There were rivulets of water streaming down his face, over his beautiful, solid chest, over the contours of his abs and soaking the towel, and Sasuke felt himself harden instantaneously, so quickly that it almost hurt.

His Sharingan had involuntarily activated, and the tomoe were whirring rapidly, as his eyes roved unashamedly over his brother's physique, the dojutsu ingraining the memory into his mind for eternity. His entire face reddened to the color of a tomato as he noticed what he'd been doing, and swiftly turned around and made a dash for his room, slamming the door behind him.

He hadn't missed Itachi's slightly confused expression, the quirk of an elegant eyebrow, directed at him.

Itachi wouldn't remain confused for too long. He'd figure it out eventually though, Sasuke knew he would. His brother was far too perceptive and far too smart for his own good.

That night, Sasuke jacked off for the first time in his life, to the image of Itachi, clad in a towel, dripping wet.

His Sharingan spun in his eyes as he grasped his pulsating member, and pumped it vigorously, his dojutsu replaying the images: Itachi's chest, the water droplets seeping into the towel slung around his naked hips, the loose sheet of hair that moved when Itachi tilted his head questioningly, the dark eyes that bore into his soul.

"Nii-san!" Sasuke bit out roughly, as he came, all over his hand, spilling seed everywhere.

After that incident, Sasuke never saw Itachi half-naked again. Though his Sharingan repeatedly provided him with the image, he couldn't help but wish, every time he heard Itachi turn on the shower, that he had Neji's dojutsu.

Just the idea of his brother's firm body under the spray of coursing water was enough to make Sasuke hard again.

-/_\-

Itachi wasn't a very physically affectionate person – especially compared to say, Naruto – who was always ready to sling an arm around Sasuke's shoulder – or Sakura, who would always touch him lightly on his arm, or brush her fingers through his hair if he permitted it.

But he did touch Sasuke occasionally, and the younger Uchiha nearly lived for those moments.

The most common, of course, was when Itachi poked Sasuke's forehead, his two fingers leaving a burning impact despite the lightness of the brush. This was always accompanied by a playful twinkle in his older brother's eyes and a slight smirk that made Sasuke want to come there and then, right on Itachi's beautiful face.

A part of him was ashamed that he could even think of such things – and ruin the innocence of Itachi's sweet gesture. He was disgusting for thinking of his brother in such a lewd way, when Itachi was anything but. His brother was perfect, and untouched as far as Sasuke knew (and thank Kami for that because Sasuke wouldn't be able to deal with the idea that Itachi had perhaps had a lover that he didn't know about; fortunately, neither Itachi, nor Deidara during his fight with Sasuke, had ever deemed it necessary to enlighten the younger Uchiha about the true extent of their relationship and the hidden acts that had surmised in the Akatsuki headquarters once – twice – thrice – or was it four times?).

There were a few other times Itachi touched him – ruffling his unruly hair a few times, though less often than the finger-poke. He had also put his arm around Sasuke, a total of three times (yes, Sasuke had kept count) giving him a quick squeeze, and allowing Sasuke to feel that blissful feeling of having a part of Itachi's chest pressed against his back. Itachi had touched his face, just once – a mere brush of fingers against Sasuke's cheek to wipe away a trace of blood – but he'd been so close, and his eyes had been locked with Sasuke's, and they'd been full of concern.

Still, Sasuke found himself craving Itachi's touches, and wanting more. Sometimes he even surprised himself at his own boldness. After that one hug which had burned itself into Sasuke's memory, the younger boy had always wanted to hug his brother more. However, he was no longer a child, but a grown-up shinobi. He couldn't pester Itachi for attention now, no matter how badly he craved it.

He almost envied his younger self, as he thought about the days where he could carelessly attach himself to Itachi's arm, grab Itachi's hand, snuggle into Itachi's chest, or even have Itachi carry him around town, with his legs clamped around his brother's back and Itachi's warm hands on Sasuke's thighs.

The idea of Itachi's hand on his thigh made him hot again – though he knew, again, that that had _never _been how Itachi had meant it. And his young, innocent self had certainly never thought of it in such a way either. It was shameful.

Sasuke often found himself plotting ways to make Itachi touch him more. Though he knew Itachi carrying him was out of the question now – he once deliberately slashed his leg with a kunai after a mission, and limped home, trailing blood onto the wooden floors. Itachi had demanded that he see a medic, but Sasuke had steadfastly refused, and resisted the Mangekyou Sharingan glare that Itachi threw his way.

Finally, the older Uchiha relented, and proceeded to attend to Sasuke's wound himself. Sasuke forced himself to make a few protests, though inside, he was feeling smug and somewhat disgusted with himself; he'd capitalized on Itachi's protective nature to manipulate his brother for his own benefit.

It was funny; his entire life, Itachi had manipulated him, even if it was for his own good. Sasuke alleviated his guilt at the fact, though any notion of shame he was feeling entirely shattered at the first touch of Itachi's fingers on his leg.

Itachi had rolled up Sasuke's pants, and had cleaned the wound, and was now wrapping it. And no matter how meticulous his brother was, Itachi couldn't prevent the few brushes of his fingers against Sasuke's bare calf, especially when Sasuke jerked his leg with mock pain, so that it pressed into Itachi's hand. Itachi then firmly cupped Sasuke's calf with his hand, to stop the boy from thrashing, and Sasuke found himself having a boner right there. His heartbeat quickened, and he was thankful that Itachi was so focused on healing his injury. If his aniki's gaze had drifted up even by a few inches, he would have undoubtedly noticed the tent in Sasuke's pants.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) Itachi would never even considering looking at such a private area of his brother's body.

Sasuke considered injuring himself on the next mission a little higher, perhaps the inner thigh – and then dismissed it. If anything, he valued Itachi's respect and trust. He wouldn't want Itachi finding out that his precious otouto was secretly a pervert who lusted after his aniki.

That night, Sasuke moaned to himself as he jacked off, recalling the feel of Itachi's hand on his leg, and wondering what it would feel like if that same hand had drifted higher.

-/_\-

The dreams eventually grew more vivid, more graphic, more obscene, and even more perverted.

Sasuke imagined Itachi's hands all over him, the feel of the rough calluses against his bare skin. He imagined them everywhere – grazing across his ribs, fingers flickering over his collarbones, hands sliding across his back, the inside of his thighs. He touched himself, pretending that his fingers were Itachi's fingers – Itachi's fingers digging into his waist, pinching his taut nipples, slipping between his buttocks, wrapping around his hard length.

He imagined touching Itachi – running his hands over that hard chest, and those glorious abs, feeling the muscles flex under his hands and his fingertips… feeling the silky hair as he pulled at it in abandon… feeling Itachi's cock pulsate in his hand.

He imagined the taste of Itachi's lips, the feeling of Itachi's tongue pushing into his mouth and sliding against his own, the feeling of Itachi's teeth scraping against his lips, his neck, his chest. He imagined what that omnipresent beautiful smirk would feel like, pressed against his bare skin.

He imagined Itachi's dark eyes, Sharingan spinning, watching him, as Itachi sucked and licked and bit Sasuke's body.

He imagined the taste of Itachi's member, as he took his older brother in his mouth and sucked and licked. Itachi would beg for him then, his voice hoarse and raw, and Sasuke could even hear the husky please.

_Sasuke – otouto – please – for nii-san…_

His dark eyes would be full of pleasure – and Sasuke had never wanted anything more than to bring pleasure to his brother. The Sharingan would be clouded with lust, lust for Sasuke, and Itachi would buck his hips against Sasuke's mouth, his fingers pulling at Sasuke's hair. He would cry out, and come in Sasuke's mouth, and Sasuke would swallow him, licking up every last drop of his delicious, delicious aniki.

Sometimes, if he dared, Sasuke imagined what it would be like if Itachi went down on him. He knew that wouldn't happen – even in his make-believe situations, he knew Itachi would dominate, that Itachi was stronger than him, that Itachi had ego.

But sometimes he liked to pretend that if he played it right, if he tugged at Itachi's heartstrings and played on Itachi's obvious love for him – that maybe this dream Itachi would agree. Because Itachi loved him. Itachi doted on him. So Sasuke's wild mind only rationalized that since Itachi loved him so much, he would make love to him, with his cock, and with his mouth. He would dote on Sasuke – the way Sasuke wanted him to.

And so he thought of Itachi on his knees, watching him languidly, with his mouth wrapped around Sasuke's cock, and his hands gripping Sasuke's hips, and Sasuke would explode, almost instantly, the power of his orgasm causing spots to blur his vision and tremors to rack his body for minutes after.

-/_\-

Sometimes he dreamt of worse things, worse than even the blasphemy he was already dreaming of. A part of Sasuke was glad that his clan was no longer alive, for there must have been some sort of clan law regarding incest and the punishment that would befall an Uchiha for thinking of his sibling in such a salacious manner. After all, it was common knowledge that many Uchiha siblings had been fratricidal. Incest was probably never even considered.

The darker fantasies though – that were engendered in the darkest part of Sasuke's soul, the part that Orochimaru and Madara had festered – made even the ones about Itachi sucking Sasuke off seem tame.

These were fantasies where Itachi was still the evil, domineering sadist that Sasuke had thought he once was. And though Sasuke never wished for his brother to be like that again, this dark and cruel Itachi was hot and played a pivotal role in some of Sasuke's fantasies.

This Itachi would fight Sasuke, and decimate him thoroughly, before slamming him against a tree, a wall, the floor – anything – and rip of his clothing – with bare hands or a kunai, based on how perverted Sasuke was feeling during the fantasy.

Then he would touch him, all over, roughly, and Sasuke would moan in abandon.

And then Itachi would fuck him – he would fuck him thoroughly. It wouldn't be like in the fantasies where Itachi would ask gently before entering Sasuke, where he would prepare him with his fingers first, and then enter him slowly, his eyes full of concern and his lips brushing Sasuke's ear and breathing soothing words.

_Don't worry otouto… it's going to be ok… am I hurting you, Sasuke? _

In these fantasies Itachi entered him by force, practically raping him, insulting him all the while.

_Foolish little brother, _Itachi would mock, _did you really think you could defeat me?_

Sometimes, Itachi would subjugate Sasuke, pushing him to his knees and forcefully shoving his cock into Sasuke's throat. He would thrust into Sasuke's mouth, his fingernails digging into Sasuke's hair.

To Sasuke's shame and horror, in most of these fantasies, Itachi would be clad in his Akatsuki cloak. The feeling of Itachi's fingers trailing over his flesh would be mixed with the cold, hard scrape of metal against skin, as Itachi would always be wearing his ring.

It frightened Sasuke how detailed and vivid his fantasies were at times.

It was sick, really, the extent of his imagination, and though the darker Itachi thrilled him, Sasuke couldn't hold back the wave of nausea and disgust he felt towards himself after the last remnants of post-orgasm euphoria had floated away.

-/_\-

Once, when Itachi was out on a three-day mission, and Sasuke was in no danger of being caught by perceptive Sharingan eyes, he did something he'd never dreamt of doing.

He made a kage bunshin and henged it to look like Itachi. He knew his brother well enough, and had memorized every detail of Itachi face and voice and demeanor. He'd even seen him shirtless.

The bunshin Itachi was almost perfect, and even though Sasuke knew that no mere shadow clone could ever measure up to the pure perfection that was his brother – it was as close as he would get.

Sasuke kissed the clone of Itachi, touched him, trailed his hands all over Itachi's body. Then the clone, guided by his own twisted desires, touched Sasuke.

It was enough to drive him off the edge – the sight of Itachi licking him and kissing him, the feel of the hands that were shaped and sized perfectly to match Itachi's – gliding over his chest and stomach, caressing his sides and hips, till they grasped his cock.

The sight of Itachi jerking him off, and then sucking him dry.

The sight of Itachi's eyes – first dark and then bleeding with the Sharingan – for Sasuke's fantasies were sub-divided into Sharingan eyed Itachi and dark-eyed Itachi – gazing at him lovingly while Itachi's fingers traced teasing, tantalizing patterns on the skin between Sasuke's thighs.

The sound of Itachi's voice, teasing and then urgent as he lived out some of Sasuke's tamer fantasies.

The feel of Itachi's hard body as Sasuke ground his hips desperately against his older brother.

The feel of Itachi's cock as it slammed into Sasuke from the back, as his aniki's teeth bit into his shoulder.

It seemed real – so real – and Sasuke's world nearly came crashing down when he realized that it wasn't.

Still, the clone technique was an addiction, and Sasuke secretly praised Naruto for giving him the idea (perhaps his praise would have been transmogrified to something else, had he known that Naruto's kage bunshins were actually carbon copies of _himself, _and that Naruto was engaging in the same acts with his Sasuke clones as Sasuke was with his Itachi clone.)

-/_\-

Over time, Sasuke grew more daring. On Itachi's next week-long mission outside Konoha, the clone Sasuke created was clad in a familiar red and black Akatsuki cloak. Its eyes were blood red and full of malice, the lips lifted in a mocking smirk. The clone was fingering a kunai, and Sasuke bit his lip, drawing blood.

-/_\-

"Are you alright?" Itachi asked, dark eyes narrowing slightly.

Sasuke cursed; trust Itachi to pick up on even his slightest wince.

"I'm fine," he lied flatly, but of course, his brother wouldn't let him go.

"You don't seem fine. Did you get injured on a mission?" Itachi questioned him.

"Nii-san, really, it's nothing," Sasuke rolled his eyes, slightly excited by Itachi's overbearing concern.

_You're pathetic, _a voice in his head, which sounded annoyingly like Naruto, told him.

_Shut up, stupid dobe, _Sasuke argued back, before flushing: he was arguing with Naruto in his head! There was something wrong with him.

Of course, that was a given anyways, especially considering that he had occupied himself with visualizing the sight of Itach's flushed face and imagining the sound of his older brother panting and gasping while _Sasuke _rode _him _to his limit; something which was entirely impossible, but still created quite a delicious fantasy which he could indulge himself in under the pretext of meditating.

"Don't lie," Itachi told him, his voice edged with a hint of steel, though his eyes were still soft and concerned, "You've hurt your chest, Sasuke."

"I haven't, Itachi, really I – " but Sasuke's breath was literally stolen away when Itachi took a step towards him, and with a nimble flick of his fingers, unbuttoned the first two buttons of Sasuke's shirt, pulling the cloth aside.

Sasuke's mind chose to rocket off onto another tangent, where this action was followed by Itachi leaning down to run his tongue over the wound, before unbuttoning the rest of Sasuke's shirt and trapping him against the wall. Dream Itachi was just pressing his body onto Sasuke's when the real Itachi, obviously having no inclination or even thought to do such a thing, spoke.

"How did this happen?'

"Naruto and I were sparring and – well, we get kind of rough," Sasuke supplied instantaneously.

What was he supposed to say?

_I was having sex with a shadow clone that was transformed to look like you, and propelled by my somewhat masochistic fantasies concerning you, it felt me up with a kunai. _

"You should get this healed," Itachi stated, eyes glancing over the half-healed gash, before flicking up to Sasuke's face.

Sasuke's breath caught, and he wondered what it would feel like if Itachi touched him, under the pretext of healing his wound. This prompted another fantasy – the one that fell under the 'Itachi "healing" Sasuke's "wounds"' category.

"I-it'll heal on it's own," Sasuke said, struggling to keep his cheeks from reddening, "Sakura's been really busy at the hospital – I don't want to bother her. It's unnecessary and I can bear the pain."

_Besides, I wouldn't want to get rid of this – it's a testament to our violent, passionate, murderous night of lovemaking._

Itachi decided to let the subject drop, rolling his eyes slightly, and poking Sasuke on the forehead.

"Idiot," he murmured, before grinning slightly, and Sasuke cursed himself for blushing.

He couldn't help it. Itachi had such a beautiful, charming smile, and on the few occasions that he did smile, it was just – breathtaking.

Though Itachi was, by default, breathtaking. He was hopelessly gorgeous, and way too attractive for his own good, and Sasuke knew that he wasn't the only one who felt that way.

Sasuke then felt Itachi's eyes flicker over his neck – and damn it – he should have had the sense to at least cover the love bites!

But then again, when a clone that looked like Itachi was sucking at his pulse, most of his mental capacity was rendered obsolete.

A knowing look entered Itachi's eyes, and Sasuke could have kicked himself. Of course his genius brother would figure it out. It would take an idiot not to.

"Sparring with Naruto, hm?" he asked, all too knowingly, a slight smirk tugging at his lips.

Sasuke hated him at that moment. He knew what conclusion Itachi had drawn, and perhaps he couldn't blame him; his relationship with Naruto was certainly not the typical 'best friends' relationship, and their spars and bantering could get a bit to intense, both verbally and physically. Sasuke knew this.

But why did Itachi seem so accepting of it?

Why wasn't there a hint of anger, or jealousy, or possessiveness – or heck, even though Sasuke would die a million times before having to see that haunting look of melancholy in Itachi's beautiful eyes – why couldn't he be slightly disappointed?

"Yeah," Sasuke echoed, his eyes dropping down, "Sparring with Naruto."

He turned around and walked away, knowing that Itachi would be able to read the change in his body language, which though subtle by normal standards, was drastic by emotionless Uchiha standards.

"Sasuke," Itachi called, and when Sasuke continued walking, he was stopped by a gentle but firm hand on his shoulder, a grasp that made his stomach flutter.

"What?" he bit out, angrily.

He knew he shouldn't be angry. It wasn't Itachi's fault. It was his own stupid fault for falling so irrevocably in love with his brother when he knew it couldn't, wouldn't be reciprocated.

But he couldn't help it. Though the clones satisfied some of his sexual frustration, they couldn't make up for the deep ache he felt in his heart, the desire for more. He knew he should be thankful he had Itachi with him – considering their past history, that in itself was a miracle and was also the reason he could never entirely hate Orochimaru, because despite everything, the snake bastard's jutsu had bought Itachi back.

He wanted more. He wanted everything. He wanted Itachi to hold him and kiss him and make love to him and whisper into his ear how much Sasuke meant to him.

It was Itachi's fault for being so damned attractive and caring and skilled and just – so perfect.

And Sasuke wanted him, more than anything in the world. He wanted his aniki.

He knew Itachi loved him unconditionally (though that may change if Itachi found out about Sasuke's fantasies; he'd be horrified). But there was a difference.

Itachi loved Sasuke, more than anything in the world. But Sasuke was in love with Itachi.

As Sasuke continued to agonize mentally, Itachi had grabbed his chin and turned him around to meet his eyes.

"Tell me what's wrong," Itachi said softly "Sasuke…"

Itachi's eyes were gazing into him with such care and such love, it made Sasuke's heart throb.

He immediately felt terrible for having snapped at Itachi earlier, but the forgiveness was already in his brother's eyes.

"Itachi, I'm so-"

"Don't worry," Itachi shook his head, letting go of Sasuke's chin, and Sasuke missed his touch, "Just tell me what's the matter. I'm sure I can fix it for you."

"You can't," Sasuke said immediately, truthfully this time.

It was true. Itachi wouldn't love him, not like that. Itachi wouldn't touch him, not like that.

"Is it about Naruto?" Itachi asked, and though Sasuke considered using that excuse, he couldn't lie about his feelings.

"No! It's not – Naruto! Naruto and I aren't – what you're thinking!" Sasuke spat, "We don't – we're not –"

"Alright, alright, calm down," Itachi said, before placing his hands on Sasuke's shoulders, and dipping his head down so their gazes were level.

Sasuke wanted to kiss him then, so badly, and had to actively clench his fists to stop himself from jumping Itachi.

His brother looked so delectable and he was standing _right _there, with his hands on Sasuke's shoulders.

"Sakura, then?" Itachi asked, tilting his head.

"NO!" Sasuke yelled, "Itachi – just – no!"

"There's someone else?" Itachi looked confused, "I thought those two were the only ones you may have-"

"Just drop it, okay!" Sasuke said bitterly, "Please, nii-san… just drop it…"

"I can't drop it when I know it's been hurting you, Sasuke," Itachi murmured, "I haven't bought it up before, but I've noticed. The past few weeks – you've been acting – strange…"

_Fuck, _Sasuke thought, _he's noticed. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

"So tell me, Sasuke, what's wrong?" Itachi asked, a finger flicking against Sasuke's cheek. It was barely a touch, just a graze, a whisper – but Sasuke felt himself tremble.

"Nii-san…"

"Come on, Sasuke," Itachi nodded, "You can tell your aniki anything."

The verbs reverberated in Sasuke's head, causing a pang in his heart.

_My aniki, _he repeated to himself, feeling a warm sensation at the words, _he's mine. He just admitted it._

_Not the way you want him to be, _the Naruto-voice pointed out cockily.

_Fuck off, usuratonkachi!_

A part of Sasuke should have been relieved that Itachi, though he'd guessed _what _was bothering Sasuke accurately (how much more did he know? He couldn't know about the clones, right? Sasuke was horrified by the very thought), had no clue _whom _it was pertaining to. Another part of Sasuke wished that he would guess, that he would know – just so Sasuke wouldn't have to keep it all bothered within him.

_It's not Naruto or Sakura, you stupid idiot! It's you nii-san! It's always been you! You're supposed to be a genius! How can't you tell that it's you I'm in love with?_

He'd envisioned telling Itachi many times, but had never dared. He didn't want Itachi to be disgusted with him – or worse, be disappointed. Itachi was too kind, too thoughtful to be outright angry. He'd probably distance himself from Sasuke, or worse, act like nothing was wrong.

Basically, it would screw things up, and not in the way Sasuke wanted them to be screwed.

Still, with Itachi gazing at him with such concern, it was all Sasuke could do to prevent himself from blurting it all out.

"I – it – Itachi – it's just –" and to Sasuke's horror, he found his eyes tearing up.

_No! I can't! I can't cry in front of him! I can't show weakness!_

"Sasuke?" Itachi seemed shocked at the tears, "Sasuke – are you crying?"

"Shut up! I'm not-" Sasuke's protests were cut off, as Itachi reached up, his index finger wiping away a tear.

His eyes were a mix of compassion, and concern.

"It's not a crime to cry, you know," he said softly, "We shinobi think that we must suppress emotion at all stages. But sometimes, it helps, to just let it out."

He'd said it – exactly what Sasuke wanted him to say – and he was so non-judgmental…

"God knows I did enough, after the massacre – after I – left you," Itachi said, and it was Sasuke's turn to be shocked.

He remembered seeing Itachi cry – that one time – but to hear him admit it out loud was something else altogether.

"I-it's stupid," Sasuke said, and Itachi wiped another tear away.

"It's not stupid if it's bothering you, otouto."

Oh, the things his brother said to him…

Itachi then placed a hand on Sasuke's head, ruffling it slightly, before pulling the younger Uchiha to his chest, his other arm wrapping around Sasuke's shoulders.

Sasuke's breath caught in his throat, as he inhaled the musky scent of his older brother, felt the hard planes of his chest, his beating heart, under his cheek.

He was close – so close – and yet not close enough.

It was unfair, and Sasuke finally let the tears fall, his heart both breaking and soaring as Itachi hugged him tighter, before letting go of him.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Itachi said, "But just know that no matter what it is, I'm here for you when you need me, ok Sasuke?"

"Y-yeah," Sasuke sniffled, feeling like a child, "Thanks – Itachi…"

"Anytime," Itachi smiled, before tapping him on the forehead.

That night, when Sasuke was jerking himself off under the sheets (this time to fantasy #27: ANBU!Itachi molesting him on their joint mission in an inn of a nameless village; Naruto, a few miles away, was subsequently jacking off to fantasy #33: CurseSeal!Sasuke fucking OneTailed!Naruto under the waterfall at the Valley of the End) the door of his room creaked open.

Sasuke froze mid-thrust, biting his lip to stifle a moan, as the fantasy rapidly changed track to fantasy #4: Normal!Itachi sexing him up in his own bedroom.

But more importantly - why the _fuck _was Itachi entering his bedroom at night?

Sasuke knew in his mind, that Itachi just wanted to check on him because of what happened before. And his heart swelled at the kindness and concern his brother was showing. But still, a part of him was mildly mortified. He'd been quite and he'd stilled his hand. Itachi wouldn't have heard anything, right? He wouldn't be able to see the bulge, not from the way the blankets were bunched over Sasuke's form, right? Worse – he wouldn't be able to – smell – Sasuke's arousal, would he? The notion terrified Sasuke.

But Itachi didn't sense anything extraordinary, and he certainly wasn't going to drag the sheets off of his apparently sleeping little brother.

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, feigning sleep, wondering if he could fool his brother. As a child, he'd never been able to. Sasuke felt his bed shift, as a weight settled down on his right side, near his head. He could feel Itachi's warmth, smell his delightful scent, and his brother's presence in his bedroom only served to make Sasuke's cock twitch.

_Thank Kami the Uchiha don't have Byakugan, _he thought to himself at the moment.

Itachi didn't do anything, just sat there for a few moments. Then suddenly, Sasuke felt a hand, brushing a few strands of hair away from his forehead. It was a completely platonic touch, but it had Sasuke biting back a gasp due to his aroused state. Then, seconds later, Itachi leaned down, till Sasuke could feel his brother's breath ghosting against his forehead.

Itachi then kissed him – a brief brush of velvet lips against the skin of Sasuke's forehead – before getting up, and leaving.

It was platonic, entirely platonic – and Sasuke knew this. But Itachi had left none too soon, because a few seconds and a hard thrust later, Sasuke came hard and long.

-/_\-

"I wonder if you can use Tsukiyomi on yourself…"

"_What_?"

Sasuke cursed inwardly. He had _not _meant to say that aloud.

Itachi was looking at him in shock.

"I mean – I just want to test something," Sasuke said, and it wasn't exactly a lie, "It wouldn't be torture. I just want to check out some – modifications."

"What kind of modifications?" Itachi asked.

_Modifications which would let me live through 72 realistic hours of you "raping' me._

"Oh, nothing important," Sasuke tried shaking it off, "Forget I said anything…"

"No," Itachi shook his head, leaning forward slightly, "If you're trying to modify that jutsu, I think I should know. I have more experience than you, so I can guide you and stop you from doing anything dangerous."

"I can do it myself!" Sasuke scowled, a bit miffed.

"I don't doubt your abilities, Sasuke," Itachi smiled, "But you know how much I care about you."

Sasuke's heart fluttered at that, and he thought, perhaps he could tell Itachi – enough so that Itachi could actually help him (because Sasuke didn't think he'd be able to modify such a high-level technique without Itachi's help and Itachi was an expert at Tsukiyomi and genjutsu) – but vague enough so Itachi didn't understand what Sasuke was actually hinting at.

"Well, Tsukiyomi lets the user manipulate the world, right?" Sasuke said, "So I was wondering if I could get a clone to use it on me. Would that work?"

"A clone," Itachi considered thoughtfully, before adding, "But why would you want to do that – that technique – it's a terrible thing, an atrocity…"

His tone was suddenly dark, laced with regret, and his eyes were filled with pain and guilt. Sasuke knew he was remembering the times he'd used it himself, on Sasuke.

The look in his eyes was so heartbreaking that Sasuke wanted to hug him, though it also instigated fantasy #55: Angsty!Guilty!Itachi "apologizes" to Sasuke by blowing him in the middle of the blood-splattered Uchiha Compound.

Yes, Sasuke was going to burn in hell. But since that had been pretty much confirmed after he'd tried killing Naruto in Orochimaru's lair, he figured he had nothing to lose by construing more heinous fantasies.

Still, Itachi was waiting for an answer, and Sasuke sighed, before speaking.

"I just thought – since it's 72 hours of anything the user wants it to be – it could be turned into a more – positive experience too, right?"

He regretted the words as soon as they'd left his mouth. Itachi's head had snapped up to look at him, and there was an incredulous expression on his handsome face.

Then a glint entered his older brother's eyes, and the beginning of a smile.

_No! Fuck, no! Stupid hormones – fuck I can't believe I said that! He can't be thinking what I think he is!_

But Itachi could read Sasuke like a book when it came to most things, and he smiled mischievously, another one of those heart-flutter-inducing smiles.

"Three days non-stop, Sasuke? Don't you think that's a _bit _much?" Itachi teased.

"I – I have no idea what you're talking about!" Sasuke yelped, flushing.

_How did he know? How the fuck did he figure it out?_

"Oh, I think you do," Itachi smirked, "But with his stamina, I'm sure Naruto would be up to it if you asked him-"

"Wh-what? N-nii-san! You-" Sasuke was at a loss of words now, and his face had turned the color of a ripe tomato.

Itachi's eyes were sparkling.

"I would never have guessed, Sasuke," he said, his tone teasing, before he reached over to flick his forehead, "Ecchi."

"I'm not banging Naruto!" Sasuke near-screeched, and he couldn't believe that Itachi had put him in a situation that had forced him to utter 'banging' and 'Naruto' in the same sentence.

"Ah. Hence the need for genjutsu," Itachi nodded understandingly, though Sasuke could tell he was still teasing.

"NO! That's not – no!"

"Calm down," Itachi laughed, "I'm just teasing you."

"Nii-san!" Sasuke couldn't help but pout slightly, a hint of the age-old whine creeping back into his voice. He quickly fixed his expression, but Itachi had already noticed.

"You're cute," he murmured, fingers ruffling Sasuke's hair, "You remind me of yourself when you were younger. You used to look at me like that all the time…"

There was a trace of adoration in his voice, a nostalgic smile tugging at his lips, and his eyes were warm, so warm, as they gazed at Sasuke.

Sasuke felt himself blushing.

"I'm not a kid any longer, nii-san," he mumbled.

"I know you're not," Itachi said sincerely, "You've grown so much Sasuke, it's incredible."

Sasuke's heart swelled at these words – so Itachi acknowledged that he'd grown? So maybe, just maybe-

"But sometimes, to me you're just – well, I can't help but think of you as my adorable little brother," he finished.

His words pierced Sasuke like a kunai.

_Adorable little brother._

That's what he was to Itachi. That's what he'd always been, what he'd always be.

So why – why did he have to feel so differently about his older brother? Why couldn't it be easy on him? Itachi wouldn't be so thrilled if he knew what his 'adorable little brother' thought about him at night…

-/_\-

Sasuke didn't know what kind of insane impulse drove him; surely it was that same idiocy that had propelled him to seek the snake-bastard in the first place – but the next time Itachi inquired about his strange behavior and bouts of melancholy, Sasuke told him.

Well, not exactly.

"There's just – there's someone…" Sasuke had mumbled, more to himself.

He couldn't believe that he was about to enter this discussion with Itachi of all people. But he couldn't help it – Itachi had asked so sweetly, and he'd felt almost compelled to tell his older brother.

"And?" Itachi asked gently, sitting down on the couch next to Sasuke.

"I can't tell you who it is-"

"I wasn't asking."

"…hn," Sasuke crossed his arms, and looked away, heart thumping rapidly.

He then felt a familiar weight settle across his shoulders, as Itachi put an arm around him.

"It's upsetting you, isn't it?" Itachi asked, "Tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help you."

Sasuke's breath caught in his throat and he immediately construed fantasy number – what was it, seventy? He'd lost count. Basically, it was of the Protective!Itachi "comforting" Sasuke variety.

_"Tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help you… what could I do to make you feel better?" Itachi asked breathily, cupping Sasuke's face in his hands._

_"You – you can't give me – what I want…" Sasuke murmured, tearing his gaze away._

_"If it makes you feel better, Sasuke… I'll give you anything that you want…" Itachi promised._

_"A-anything nii-san?" _

_"Yes, otouto," Itachi whispered, leaning in to drop a soft kiss on Sasuke's lips, "Anything. Just ask for it…"_

"…and that's what big brothers are for," the real Itachi said, jolting Sasuke out of his reverie.

"….he doesn't – care for me that way," Sasuke admitted.

The words seemed innocent enough. They could refer to anyone. There was no way in hell that Itachi would guess that Sasuke was referring to him. Sasuke then realized that he'd just let it slip that the person was a 'he', which really cut down the possibility of Itachi thinking it was Sakura or any of the other kunoichi. Though Sasuke figured it wasn't really a problem, since Itachi seemed to suspect it was Naruto, and had already guessed that his younger brother was gay – or bisexual.

_There are many shinobi in Konoha, _Sasuke reasoned to himself, _he won't even imagine that it's him. _

"Are you sure?" Itachi asked, "Have you spoken to him? I don't pretend to be an expert in this field, but-"

"You're an expert in everything, nii-san," Sasuke muttered.

_Even sex, _he added mentally, _you're an absolutely genius when it comes to-_

Itachi just smiled, and continued.

"Sometimes it helps if you talk these things out."

"No. It's not going to help. He doesn't feel that way and he never will. And _don't _bring up Naruto, because it _isn't _him!"

His voice came out sharper than he intended it to, and far too bitter.

Itachi was silent for a moment, before speaking.

"Does he – have someone else?"

"I don't know," Sasuke shuddered at the thought, "I don't – think so. But he might have a secret lover somewhere. What would I know?"

The thought made him cringe and want to Chidori something.

Itachi bit his lip, and in spite of himself, Sasuke found the action incredibly sexy.

"Well," Itachi said softly, looking into Sasuke's eyes, "I think that whoever he is – he has to be pretty stupid to not want you… that is, if you're sure he doesn't."

Sasuke knew the words were meant to comfort them, and that Itachi had meant them platonically. But he couldn't help it as the fluttering feeling in his stomach intensified.

"Really nii-san?" he asked, "Do you really think – that I – that I'm –"

"Of course," Itachi said sincerely, "You're one of the most skilled shinobi in our village. Don't doubt yourself."

"That's not what I meant," Sasuke said, his shoulders drooping slightly. Itachi pulled him a little closer, and Sasuke wanted to clamber onto his lap just then, like he had when they were younger.

"Fishing for compliments?" Itachi teased, "That's unlike you."

"I'm not-" Sasuke protested, flustered, but Itachi didn't let him finish.

"Well you're a very handsome young man, if that's what you were asking," Itachi said indulgently, winking.

Sasuke's head was reeling at this.

_Did he just – Did Itachi just say that?_

Sasuke soon got over the breathlessness and excitement – of course Itachi had only meant it as an encouraging older brother trying to boost up his otouto's morale. That didn't mean Itachi was attracted to him, or anything along those lines.

_But that wink…_

Sasuke had never seen Itachi wink before. Winking was a very playful, Naruto thing to do. Seeing his usually stoic older brother do it gave him a strange but familiar tightening feeling in his pants.

Sasuke didn't know what to say, so he crossed his legs tightly and cuddled up close to Itachi. It wasn't something he'd normally have dared to do, but at that moment he couldn't help it.

To his pleasant surprise, Itachi allowed this, and patted his head lightly.

"Don't worry Sasuke," Itachi murmured, his breath tickling Sasuke's ear and making a shiver run down his spine, "I'm here for you, okay?"

-/_\-

Sasuke gripped the table, his knuckles whitening. The hard body behind him rammed into him, sending a spiral of pleasure coursing through his body.

"Nnnh.." Sasuke moaned, "Nii-san…"

Itachi's lips scraped at the juncture between his neck and shoulder, before moving to Sasuke's ear, his tongue tracing a hot, wet path up.

"Fuck…" Sasuke gasped, "Itachi… harder…"

His brother obliged, thrusting into him with more force, as a slender, perfect hand trailed up the inside of his thigh.

"Itachi – please," Sasuke practically whimpered, as the hand glided up, Itachi's knuckles grazing his hardness.

"What do you want, Sasuke?" Itachi asked hotly, before nipping at Sasuke's ear.

"I want – you to – touch – me," Sasuke managed between pants, as Itachi continued to fuck him from the back.

"Touch you?" Itachi asked, a hint of teasing entering his voice, "I am already touching you, otouto…"

"Aniki… please… you know what I mean…" Sasuke begged, as the pace of Itachi's thrusts increased.

"No, you'll have to be specific," Itachi murmured, his tongue running along the shell of Sasuke's ear.

"Nii-san…"

"Where, Sasuke? Where do you want me to touch you?"

The dirty talk was doing wonders to his already erect member. Sasuke thought he would burst from it, as Itachi continued to speak to him in that husky, breathless voice he knew so well.

His fingers were still at Sasuke's thighs, before they traced a trail upwards, playing with his dark curls.

The sight of Itachi's fingers playing with – _that – _was in itself orgasmic.

Unable to stand it much longer, Sasuke grabbed his brother's hand, moving it so that Itachi's fingers were positioned around his cock.

"So impatient, Sasuke," Itachi laughed softly, before thrusting again, hard and strong.

At the same time, his hands wrapped tightly around Sasuke's cock, and squeezed.

"Aaaah!" Sasuke cried out, jerking his hips forward from the combined sensation, "Itachi!"

Itachi's pace grew quicker, and he slammed into Sasuke repeatedly, his cock hitting points that made Sasuke feel like exploding from pleasure. His hand stroked Sasuke, pumping him to his release.

"Do you like that?" Itachi was whispering hotly in his ears, "Do you like what your nii-san is doing, Sasuke? Do you want more?"

"Nnnnh," Sasuke moaned, closing his eyes to savor the sensation, "More… Itachi… please… harder…"

He was so caught up in his lust that he didn't notice any of the things he should have.

There was a reason why there was a rule that shinobi should always be on their guard.

It was only when his clone of Itachi suddenly froze, before poofing away, leaving him alone and devoid of that pleasurable sensation – that Sasuke realize that something was amiss.

His eyes snapped open only to meet the beautiful, dark ones of Itachi.

Itachi.

His brother… the real Itachi…

Sasuke's heart nearly stopped.

Itachi who was supposed to have left for a mission. Itachi who had walked in on him being fucked by a clone that had been transformed to look like him.

There was a hope – a slight possibility – that Itachi hadn't seen the clone, or heard that much.

But Sasuke knew, with a sinking feeling that this wasn't true. Itachi had seen everything. Itachi had seen how he'd moaned and begged for his brother. Itachi had heard Sasuke's voice gasping and pleading him for more. Itachi had seen the expression of pure pleasure on Sasuke's face as the clone fucked him. Itachi had seen how hard Sasuke's cock was as the clone stroked him.

It was obvious – from the look on Itachi's face.

Itachi never displayed such shock or surprise, not openly. Usually it was a minimal reaction, just an eyebrow raising by a fraction, or his eyes narrowing.

But this time, Itachi was staring at Sasuke with an expression of such unadulterated shock – his dark eyes wide and full of tumultuous expressions, and his mouth slightly open.

And Sasuke's world shattered.

_No. No. NO. NO. NOOOOOOOOOO!_

He'd been caught be his brother. Itachi knew everything now. Sasuke could practically see the gears turning in his breath, the realization dawning upon him.

It would soon be followed by horror or disgust or hatred. Sasuke couldn't bear to stay for it.

He couldn't face Itachi – not now.

He pulled up his pants swiftly, grabbed a shirt, and bolted, smashing the window in front of him.

The glass cut his arms and shoulders, but he didn't care. All he cared about was getting away from Itachi as fast as possible.

-/_\-

_Author's Note: That's not meant to be a cliffhanger. I'm just so exhausted. Please note the Itachi emoticons. _

_Sorry if the OOC bother you but well - writing Sasuke infatuated/in love/lusting is rather OOC to begin with since we never get to see that side of him. I'm sure we will... eventually... (Kishimoto come ON!)  
><em>

_Yes. Sasuke does have over 70 different categorized Itachi fantasies. He's a perv. And Itachi's just so – gah – SEXY. I would have tons of those too. In fact, I could probably make a list and… (*trails off embarrassedly*) Never. Mind. _

_Anyways, I can't believe I wrote this. I don't think I've written anything this smutty or dirty or wrong in my life. I'm so shameless, I'm not even blushing right now. It's terrible._

_Flame me if you want, Amaterasu will always be stronger ;)_

_Otherwise, please review and let me know what you think! Is this worth continuing? It was just a thing I had to write, but I don't know if I should go on. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Notes: To the 20+ of you who reviewed: this one's for you and all my other readers! But honestly guys, the only reason I'm even continuing this is because of your awesomeness. I just had to! So look forward to more chapters and THANK YOU so much for your amazing, inspiring words._

**Warnings: All the warnings of chapter 1 apply. This is some seriously perverted and mature and messed up shit. Also: explicit ItaDei, hints of SasuNaru, along with ONE-SIDED ItaSasu (it will eventually develop, but not yet)**

_There. Don't say I didn't warn you. if any of those couplings bother you, I suggest you don't read, because as this evolves, it's not going to stay pure-ItaSasu. There will be a convoluted tangle of pairings (mainly these three) to make things more interesting and dramatic. And because I am such a shameless yaoi fangirl who can't decide on my OTP. If any of these pairings upset you, I'm truly sorry :( I didn't mean for that. Otherwise, enjoy the story, and please please review! :) _

Special thanks to **Aon, Mi chan, NoelleisParadise, necro omen13, missbip0lar, XxAngel Of MadnessxX, Yellow Ninja, Anon loves you, Juliee, EbonyCaptain, WraithReaper, Anime-girl-next-door, Me, jelfie, James, Sihnya, ****uchibicesetous, haradatwin11, SUPERANON, omenachan, Lala **and **lalala554 **for you words! You guys are absolutely delightful!

And on with this wonderfully depraved story... I am shocked (but truly grateful, TRULY) that I haven't been flamed for this, or cursed to hell. You guys are so amazing. Ok. Sorry. Enough. Read on.

-/_\-

Sasuke rushed through the forest, pumping chakra to his legs, his only concern being to put as much distance between him and Konoha – him and _Itachi._

He couldn't believe he'd been so _stupid, _so _foolish, _so blissfully _unaware. _He had ruined everything. Years of companionship… all of Itachi's sacrifices for him, everything.

Itachi would know now. He'd understand. Sasuke knew his brother was brilliant. Just one hint and all the things would start clicking in place in the elder's mind. Itachi would see the significance of so many of the odd incidents that had occurred over the course of those few months. He would realize the true extent of Sasuke's feeling, how depraved his younger brother really was.

Sasuke couldn't bear the thought of Itachi hating him – worse being _disgusted _by him. He fled through the trees, not caring about the blood that flecked behind him, the glass shards that dug into his muscles – or the fact that due to the terms of his probation, any unordained flight over five miles from the village walls would be counted as defection and would force Tsunade to lock him up for a few weeks in punishment. He didn't care.

For all he knew, Itachi would probably tell the Hokage to lock him up, or worse exile him, considering what he'd seen.

Though on second thought, Sasukerealized this wasn't true; Itachi was too kind to think of such a thing.

That was the worst part. Sasuke knew that Itachi wouldn't show it. His brother probably wouldn't yell at him, or lash out, or beat him to the ground. Itachi would be furious, disgusted even – but he wouldn't show it. He would just be cool and distant - and this time it wouldn't be because of a rapidly approaching massacre. It would be because of Sasuke, and his stupidity, and his sinful emotions.

_Fuck._

Sasuke sped up, but to no avail. The familiar chakra was getting closer; for whatever reason, Itachi wasn't bothering to mask it. Probably because he knew he'd catch up anyways since he was the faster of the two, Sasuke reasoned.

_Damn this._

Sasuke continued running, but it was a few more minutes until a dark figure leaped out of the tree in front of him, forcing him to halt abruptly and land.

Itachi straightened and looked at him briefly.

His brother's face was an emotionless mask again – but then his dark eyes narrowed slightly.

"Four and a three quarter miles," Itachi murmured, before shaking his head slightly.

Sasuke stared at him.

_That _was the first thing his brother would state? The terms of his damned probation and how close he'd been to breaking them?

"Good thing I caught you. It would have been hell trying to convince Tsunade-sama and the council to rescind your punishment…"

Sasuke didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue.

"Come on. Let's get you back," Itachi finally said after a moment, before looking away.

Sasuke's heart sank. Itachi wasn't even making eye contact with him.

"Back…?"

"Back to Konoha," Itachi murmured, still look to the side, "The hospital."

His eyes flicked to Sasuke's wounds momentarily.

"You need to get those healed."

_Is that it? Are you just going to avoid me and pretend nothing happened?_

Itachi's reaction was infuriating – Sasuke wouldn't let him act like nothing had happened, act like the entire scenario had never taken place.

It was mortifying enough – but why couldn't they just deal with it and get it over with?

"Itachi," Sasuke muttered, as his brother made to leap upwards.

Itachi froze. His muscles were tense – Sasuke didn't need a Sharingan to see that.

_I'm in love with you! I want you to fuck me! I'm obsessed with you! Don't you have anything to fucking say to that?_

Sasuke didn't say any of the hundred things that were running through his head at the time. Instead he spoke softly, his voice smaller than usual, his tone not unlike one he'd often used when he was younger.

"Do you hate me?"

This time Itachi looked at him – actually looked – and Sasuke could see the hardness melt away from his face. The dark eyes, that had been like emotionless pools of blackness just moments ago, softened.

"Foolish little brother," Itachi shook his head, "I could never hate you."

Sasuke couldn't believe his ears – but Itachi was being genuine, he could tell that. His brother had meant it.

"But – but how? Even after-"

"Come on, Sasuke," Itachi said softly, "You're bleeding. Let's go."

"No!" Sasuke bit out, before he could stop himself.

He couldn't help it – he couldn't stand it! It was mortifying, but what made it worse was Itachi acting like nothing had happened. It was like he was disregarding Sasuke's feelings altogether, as if they weren't worthy of being considered. Sasuke would have preferred a rejection to this cool, calm acceptance.

"What is it?" Itachi asked resignedly.

Sasuke obstinately ignored his brother's tone, and went on.

"Don't you have anything else to say? About – about what happened? Don't act like nothing did!"

There was an awkward silence. Itachi was biting his lip again, and Sasuke forced himself to look away.

"I don't know what to say," Itachi said quietly.

Sasuke was surprised – so he'd left Itachi speechless, and confused with his actions. Or was it that Itachi didn't _want _to say what he was really thinking because he knew it would hurt Sasuke's feelings.

"Really, nii-san?" Sasuke asked, ignoring how Itachi winced ever so slightly at the name.

"Is that really it? Or is it that you don't want to tell me what you really want to say? You think I can't handle it? I can, you know. I'm not a kid."

Sasuke didn't know why he was egging him on, why he was almost picking a fight with Itachi – but even an angry Itachi using the Mangekyou Sharingan on him – would be better than this cool, accepting Itachi.

"You think I'm disgusting, don't you? Weak? Foolish? Just say it, will you?"

Sasuke was shaking now. Itachi was staring at him.

"It was depraved and wrong and disgusting, and I know you think that and probably never want anything to do with me again – so stop pretending and say what's really on your mind!"

Itachi said nothing, but took a few steps forward.

"Sit down," he murmured.

"What?"

"Sit down. You're obviously not going to agree to go to the hospital until we're done with this, and you need to get these wounds cleaned up."

Sasuke was shocked – was Itachi offering to – after _everything _that had just happened – was he offering to clean his wounds? A process which would require _touching _him?

Sasuke sat down, shakily. Itachi kneeled besides him.

"Give me your arm," Itachi said.

Sasuke did, silently holding out his right arm. It was covered in blood and scratches. Sasuke winced slightly – the pain was getting to him now, and some shards of glass were still stuck in his flesh.

"This is going to hurt," Itachi warned him, and began attending to his arm.

Sasuke winced as his brother pulled the glass pieces out, of one arm, and then the next. Itachi then began wrapping the injuries, carefully, meticulously.

Sasuke noted his brother seemed to be taking extra care in ensuring that he didn't touch Sasuke's bare skin. He did once, by accident, a brush of his fingers against Sasuke's forearm.

Sasuke couldn't help but shiver slightly.

"Please don't take this the wrong way," Itachi said softly.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, before glaring at Itachi's head.

Did his brother _really _need to say it like that? Of course, Itachi probably knew now, about all the fake injuries – he'd probably figured it all out, so his comment wasn't completely unjustified. Still, Sasuke felt like some sort of a sexual deviant, the way he'd said it.

And Itachi was avoiding his gaze, again. His brother's eyes were fixed on Sasuke's arm – and shoulders – as he tended to his injuries.

He was so close, but he refused to look up.

Sasuke didn't mind – best Itachi didn't see him blushing now, and know he had caused it himself.

Then Itachi began speaking, still focusing on Sasuke's injuries.

"I don't think you're disgusting. Or weak. Or foolish. And I'm sorry if I've – given you the wrong impression about anything. I don't hate you, Sasuke. I never will. You're still my – precious little brother – it's just – this is a lot to take in. Just give me some time. I promise things will be back to normal soon. I'm sorry."

_Wait – what?_

Itachi was apologizing to _him? _For what?

"Why – why are you sorry?" Sasuke couldn't help but ask.

"Because I'm the reason you're hurting. I'm the reason you were crying that day, the reason you've been so depressed. All these weeks – I've wondered what was wrong and I've wanted to fix it and make you feel better – but it was me, all along… it was my fault…"

Itachi sounded so morose, so genuinely regretful.

Sasuke couldn't believe his ears.

How had his brother managed to shift the blame onto himself? Wasn't he slightly angry, or disgusted, or taken aback?

But then again, Itachi had always had a tendency to shoulder the blame for the actions of others – whether those others be Uchiha Madara, his entire clan and the political leaders of Konoha – or his little brother.

"After the massacre – after all that happened – I never wanted to hurt you again, Sasuke. I just want you to be happy, and I hate myself for making you like this-"

"_Making _me like this? How is this – this isn't your fault, nii-san! It's my fault! What I did – and thought – was wrong!"

Sasuke knew he should probably be happy that Itachi had turned the tables and was so easily accepting the blame. But he couldn't stand to see the one he loved sound so distressed.

"It was. It's always been my fault," Itachi said sadly, "It's my fault you didn't have a normal childhood. It's my fault you were always obsessing over power, over revenge – over me. I dictated your life – I made it that way. You never had time to think of, or to focus on anything else."

"But you didn't!" Sasuke protested, wondering why he was defending his brother from himself.

Itachi's logic had always been convoluted – but this was just crazy. Did he really think that he'd messed with Sasuke's mind so much to force his brother to turn to incest? Sasuke mulled over the possibility before dismissing it. Deep within him, he knew that even when he'd been younger – even before the massacre and all that had followed – he'd always harbored some sort of a latent crush on Itachi. He'd just been too young to understand the feelings, and for them to have actually developed into more. They'd been more innocent at the time, but Sasuke was sure they'd been there.

"Those things – they were different!"

"Are they really?" Itachi asked, looking up at him finally, "Is what you did really that wrong, that abnormal? I killed our entire clan, Sasuke. My sin was worse than yours – if you could forgive me for something as terrible as that – so readily – do you really think I would hold this against you?"

"But – you had to – you never meant to hurt anyone! It was for – for the good of the village, right?"

"You never meant to hurt anyone either," Itachi echoed, "Sasuke, that was harmless – trivial – compared to what I did. I'm just thankful that I've been given another chance, with life, with Konoha, with you – I still haven't forgiven myself for what I had to do to you years ago, for the years of your childhood that I've stolen…"

"Itachi…" Sasuke stared at him, "You shouldn't. I don't hold that against you…"

"Exactly," Itachi said, "And nor will I."

He smiled slightly, before standing up.

"I really just want things to be normal, Sasuke, if that's even possible after everything we've been through," Itachi said, sighing, "You're my little brother, I don't want to lose you."

Sasuke then realized what was happening. Itachi was letting him down, as gently as he possibly could.

"So – you don't-" Sasuke began, but Itachi interrupted.

"Please don't make me say it."

Sasuke caught the hidden meaning.

_Please don't make me reject you._

"So you've never-"

Itachi leaned over, and poked him lightly on the forehead.

"Sorry Sasuke," he murmured, "But not this time."

_This time I can't give you what you want._

_This time I'm not going to change my mind,_

_This time I'm not going to fulfill you every wish and desire._

Itachi leaped up then, and began bounding back to the village, and as usual, Sasuke was left chasing after his brother's footsteps.

-/_\-

It took time, and was unspeakably awkward at first – but things after a few months, things seemed to retain their original normalcy around the Uchiha brothers.

Sasuke noticed that Itachi took more missions – probably to escape the idea of being alone with _him, _he realized with a sinking heart.

But Sasuke dealt with it – it was all his fault after all. No matter what Itachi said, he was depraved and perverted and _wrong _for having felt the way he did – for still feeling the way he did.

Yes. As much as Sasuke tried to suppress the emotions, even five months after the awkward confrontation, his emotions for his brother were as twisted and strong as they had been before; if not more.

Itachi was close, always so close – and yet so far, so distant. Sasuke was scared that he would withdraw completely, and shut himself off; but Itachi would never do that.

His brother tried acting like nothing was wrong; but Sasuke noticed that his smiles were slightly forced, and he often watched Sasuke almost worriedly when he thought Sasuke wasn't looking. He also avoided touching him – it was subtle, but Sasuke had noticed. Other than a forehead-poke, or a rare hair ruffle, there wasn't any form of physical affection he could get out of his brother, and he wasn't stupid enough to try.

Still he longed for the days when Itachi would touch him – innocently, platonically enough – but hug him.

What he would do for one hug from his older brother.

Itachi had forgiven him; but it was more than evident that he hadn't forgotten about what had transpired. Sasuke didn't bother bringing it up again, and tried acting normal.

He had thought his mistake would have cost him his older brother, that Itachi would loathe him forever. Itachi far from loathed him, and Sasuke was thankful for that. He didn't want to make things worse, though his heart ached, and he found himself longing for more proximity from Itachi.

Sasuke's personality was one that had the tendency to get utterly fixated on something. Thoughts of that would eat away at him, take over his heart; initially it was revenge. Now, it was his older brother.

However, unlike with his quest for vengeance, he wasn't idiotic enough to try pursuing Itachi – not this time.

Perhaps the one good thing that came of the entire debacle was that Sasuke found himself spending more time with Team Seven, and growing closer to Naruto and Sakura. Naruto, in particular, though he wasn't Itachi, was Sasuke's second-favorite person in the world (though he would _never _admit that to the dobe), and was also one of the few people Sasuke actually _liked _spending time with, the other two being Itachi and Sakura.

However, things didn't stay peaceful for long. Because six months after the incident, when things finally seemed to be settling down for the Uchiha brothers – a certain hidden village sent a certain shinobi on a certain month-long diplomatic mission to the Leaf.

And that is when things exploded.

-/_\-

"What – what the _fuck _are _you _doing here?"

Sasuke had answered the rather impatient banging on the door, fully expecting it to be the hyperactive orange bundle he was unfortunate enough to have as a best friend. After all, Naruto was the only idiot with the audacity to strike up such a ruckus in the Uchiha compound just an hour to midnight.

Though the bright blue eyes, golden-blonde hair and obnoxiously loud manner were strikingly familiar, Sasuke had _not _expected to see one of his enemies; a shinobi, whom, if he remembered correctly, he had _decimated, _blowing him into thousands of pieces.

Literally.

"Oh! It's mini-Uchiha, yeah? Last I heard you wanted to destroy this village! What happened, un?"

Deidara flicked his bangs to the side, leaning casually against the door frame; as if he wasn't a missing-nin and terrorist from another village who was supposed to be _dead _and had every right to come banging at such an unearthly hour.

"How the fuck are you here? And why?" Sasuke demanded, the beginnings of a chidori crackling at his fingertips.

"You're _so_ polite, un," Deidara observed, rolling his eyes.

"Answer me," Sasuke growled, "Before I shove this into your heart."

"Please," Deidara scoffed, "You should have learned that you're incapable of killing me. It's only when I blow myself up do you stand a chance, yeah? Call off your stupid jutsu, I'm not even here to fight you again."

"Why the hell are you here then?" Sasuke snapped, "And – how? I killed you!"

"You didn't, un," Deidara rolled his eyes, "I told you, it was more of suicide. As for how – well – same way as Itachi, Edo-Tensei. Not a bad jutsu, un."

"You – broke free as well?" Sasuke asked, narrowing his eyes, "And they didn't kill you or imprison you?"

"That's not really your business, yeah," Deidara told him, "But the Tsuchikage has a sort of liking for me – for reasons that don't concern you – and well, we figured things out, and… I'm back!"

"Unbelievable," Sasuke scowled, "How did they accept you? You're a missing-nin! You were an internationally wanted criminal and part of a terrorist organization that-"

"And you're not, un?" Deidara laughed, "From what I've heard, you'd become quite the little terrorist yourself. If Konoha took you back, why couldn't Iwa take me?"

"It was because of Itachi," Sasuke hissed, "And don't compare me to you!"

"Itachi," Deidara smirked, "Of course. The village owes him, yeah?"

"What?" Sasuke recoiled slightly, "How do you-"

"We were teammates for years un, do you really think he didn't tell _anyone?"_

Sasuke's stomach plummeted – how much did Deidara know? How and _why _did he know? Why would Itachi tell him – and how much had Itachi told him? And why – _him _– of all people. Sasuke didn't know of Itachi's past in the Akatsuki, but from his fight with Deidara he'd assumed the two were enemies or-

_Rivals, _a voice in his head whispered, _just like you and Naruto._

No. That couldn't be possible. Sasuke couldn't bear to think of Itachi having a – just, no.

_He probably doesn't know the entire story, _Sasuke told himself, _Itachi probably told Deidara some other elaborate lie._

"Speaking of, where is Itachi?" Deidara asked.

"What do you want with him?" Sasuke spat, "And how are you here?"

"So many questions, un," Deidara gave Sasuke an annoyed look, "Danna was right, it does get _annoying._"

Sasuke flinched at this adjective, an unpleasant memory of watery green eyes, moonlit tears and pleading sobs flashing through his mind.

"I'm here on an official mission as a shinobi of Tsuchikage," Deidara said, and when Sasuke shot him another disbelieving look he just pointed at his forehead protector.

Which didn't have a slash through the symbol.

"And as to why I want to see him – well – let's just say it's some unfinished business between two old teammates," Deidara said, smirking slightly.

Sasuke bit back his retort, because less than a moment later, he sensed a familiar presence, and whirled around.

"Itachi-" Deidara exclaimed, before inhaling sharply.

Itachi's face for one infinitesimal moment was one of shock – utter shock and disbelief. He quickly schooled it into his neutral expression, though Sasuke caught it, and was surprised. His brothers eyes were full of tumultuous emotions – was it anger? He couldn't tell. But it was odd that Itachi hadn't been able to control whatever astonishment he was feeling, even for a split second.

Deidara was oddly tense too – and Sasuke didn't know what it was, but there was a palpable tension in the room – were they about to fight?

The two ex-teammates continued staring at each other for a few moments, before Deidara relaxed, and beamed broadly.

"Happy to see me, un?"

Itachi's eyes narrowed fractionally.

"Exceptionally," he muttered, though there was something stiff, something rigid about him.

Sasuke suspected his brother was being sarcastic – he didn't sound – or look happy.

"Come inside," Itachi said suddenly, "We have things to discuss."

He nodded to his bedroom, and Deidara bounded after him excitedly, apparently not noticing the almost menacing aura emanating from Itachi's tone and figure.

Sasuke was infinitely curious – he was half-tempted to stay behind and listen – and find out what exactly was going on between his brother and Deidara - but Itachi seemed to have figured him out.

"Don't you have midnight sparring with Naruto?" he asked, "He's an impatient one, ne? Don't make him wait too long."

Sasuke ended up obeying, not knowing what excuse to give.

It wasn't that big of a deal. He wasn't that interested in whatever Akatsuki-related nonsense Deidara had to say. And though he would have loved to see his brother thoroughly decimate Deidara in a spar (which would commence once he left, in all likelihood, Sasuke surmised), Naruto was waiting for him, and he could get really annoying when he was made to wait.

So he left.

By the time he came back, Deidara was gone and Itachi's door was closed, indicating he was probably asleep. Sasuke was exhausted anyways; sparring with Naruto usually did that to him.

He took a quick shower, changed and collapsed into his sheets.

Deidara was gone, and that's what mattered. He'd ask Itachi what had happened later. But he had an early-morning spar with Naruto (yes, the two were fanatics when it came to that sort of thing) and since he didn't have unlimited supplies of chakra like the dobe, he did need his rest.

-/_\-

"Come on, temeee…. It's my turn to decide!" Naruto whined, as the dark-haired Uchiha dragged him by the wrist through the village the next morning.

"We had ramen for breakfast yesterday. I'm sick of it, dobe," Sasuke told him.

"Lies, dattebayo!" Naruto screeched, "That was the day before, we went to that stupid sushi place yesterday, remember! Sakura-chan made us!"

"Oh. Yes," Sasuke nodded, remembering.

"Which means it's my turn today!"

"It is not. Sakura decided yesterday, not me. I get to choose today and I say we eat at my house."

"You're such a cold-hearted bastard!" Naruto howled melodramatically, "Raaaamennnn! I'm sorry I've forsaken you!"

"Shut up, usuratonkachi," Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto's antics, a slight smirk tugging at his lips as he dragged the blonde disaster towards the Uchiha compound.

This was quite a routine debacle for them. Intense physical sparring from seven to nine, followed by intense verbal sparring and expletive-filled arguments over where to have breakfast.

But today, Sasuke wasn't going to stand for any of Naruto's whining and sulking and pouting. He was, he admitted, insatiably curious to get back to the compound, and see if it had been invaded, yet again, by the blonde idiot (Itachi's idiot, not his idiot – and that sounded _really _wrong and gave him a terrible plummeting feeling in his stomach which made Sasuke resolve to never mentally refer to Deidara as _Itachi's _anything again).

Sasuke didn't know why, but in the morning, before he left to spar, he had the unpleasant feeling that he'd be seeing Deidara again pretty soon, and it irked him, more than he would have liked to admit, though he wasn't sure why. Something about Deidara just got under his skin – the blonde was his new nemesis (though he'd never say this to Naruto lest the dobe get all jealous over his own own 'number one rival' status).

When they finally reached, Itachi was already sitting at the breakfast table, drinking tea. His eyes flicked upwards as they entered.

"Sasuke," he nodded, "Naruto. Nice of you to drop by."

"Hey, Itachi," Naruto grinned, "What's up?"

Sasuke had noticed early on that Naruto and Itachi got along extremely well together. It didn't bother him though, not with Naruto. If anything, it made him glad.

As Itachi and Naruto spoke, Sasuke helped himself to a few plump, juicy tomatoes from the fridge. He secretly enjoyed the breakfasts he had with just Itachi and Naruto – his two most important people.

Unfortunately, his enjoyment was short-lived. Naruto excused himself to go the bathroom – and just moments after he'd disappeared, another blonde bombshell exploded into the room.

"Morning, un!" Deidara greeted cheerfully.

His long blonde hair was loose and messy, and he was wearing a rumpled dark grey shirt over his pants, instead of the usual mesh top, which Sasuke had noted that both Deidara and Itachi were accustomed to wearing; he personally liked mesh on Itachi. It showed off his brother's muscled chest.

"What's for breakfast, hm?"

Itachi shot him a look. It was more of a pointed glare, but Sasuke could read the look. It was a 'why-must-you-be-so-annoyingly-cheerful-and-loud-in-the-morning' look. Sasuke knew this because he usually wore the same one around Naruto in circumstances like this one.

"Of course, you've never been quite a morning person, have you, Itachi?" Deidara grinned.

He leaned down, looping an arm across Itachi's neck.

Sasuke felt a sudden bolt of something – like a momentous chidori – rush through him.

Deidara was – he had _dared _– to _touch _Itachi? And Itachi wasn't – stopping him?

Itachi just rolled his eyes, but Sasuke could see a sparkle of amusement in them, as Itachi's eyes shifted to meet Deidara's.

He wasn't glaring anymore. He just looked exasperated and amused.

"This'll wake you up, yeah," Deidara grinned, pressing his hand against Itachi's cheek.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes – and then caught a flash of pink.

Pink.

Deidara had hand-mouths. With tongues.

Was that – had he just _licked _Itachi?

Deidara hadn't removed his hand from where it was pressed against Itachi's cheek, and was still leaning down. His head was touching Itachi's. His arm was around Itachi's neck. He was close, way too close.

And worse – Itachi didn't seem to _mind. _

In fact there was a smirk – an almost _playful _smirk – on the older Uchiha's face.

"Get off," Itachi said, but his eyes were sparkling, and his voice held no menace.

"Make me," Deidara said childishly, "You know you missed me when I died."

"You wish," Itachi said, rolling his eyes.

He still hadn't pushed Deidara away.

"…idiot," Itachi added, almost affectionately, as an afterthought.

"Bastard!" Deidara screeched in response.

And then Sasuke realized he'd been missing out on something.

He had a disturbing sense of déjà vu – because he'd seen this. He'd seen this exact same situation.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, obnoxiously loud and cheerful attitude.

Dark hair, dark eyes, calm façade, omnipresent smirk.

Banter. Name-calling. Teasing. Questionable physical proximity.

_Flirting?_

_"Hey, I'm back! Miss me much?"_

_"Hn… as if… dobe…"_

_"TEMEEEE!"_

And Sasuke knew what people thought – what people said – about him and Naruto. He knew that their relationship, though it hadn't crossed any lines (disregarding that one accidental academy kiss which had never _actually _happened), was hovering dangerously at the fence. It wasn't platonic, but it definitely wasn't 'brotherly'. (Though considering his feelings for Itachi, perhaps he should redefine the word 'brotherly').

But Itachi – and Deidara?

It couldn't be… it wasn't possible…

_It's probably nothing, _Sasuke told himself, _Deidara's just an idiot, like Naruto. They're teammates. It doesn't mean anything. It can't._

Then he realized that he still didn't know the exact reason why Deidara had come back – he'd said a mission – but he should have left after completing it, and he hadn't. And Itachi had stayed in the compound. And – if Deidara was here now – that meant he'd stayed the night! The last night when Sasuke had thought Deidara had left and Itachi had been asleep – Deidara had been there all along!

_Was he in Itachi's room? Itachi's bed? _

Sasuke couldn't bear to complete that thought. It was improbable, he told himself. They had a huge home, with many rooms. Itachi had probably lent Deidara a guest room, for the night – since they were teammates.

Just teammates.

Like him and Naruto.

Sasuke felt suddenly sick, his head spinning.

He needed to find out what was going on – and how close that stupid blonde really was to his brother.

If it was more – if it was more than what Sasuke had with Itachi – he didn't think he could bear it.

-/_\-

Sasuke spent most of next few days with Naruto and Sakura. Deidara was overstaying his welcome, in his opinion, but Itachi was allowing it, and Sasuke grudgingly accepted the blonde's presence. Besides, he didn't have to worry much, because Itachi had been giving a three-day long solo mission outside of Konoha; which is why, much to Team Seven's delight, Sasuke ended up spending more time than usual with them, refusing to be stuck alone with Deidara.

That day he was having dinner with Naruto at Ichiraku's. Their topic of conversation, much to Sasuke's displeasure, was the blonde menace that had inhabited his home.

"-not that bad when you get to know him, you know," Naruto was saying.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Trust Naruto to eventually warm up to Deidara; the two were annoyingly similar, and Naruto had probably wheedled out Deidara's sob story and decided that the ex-criminal was just terribly misunderstood and had taken it upon his shoulders to save him from a life of loneliness.

Which wasn't really necessary. Deidara, though he'd suffered quite a strange past, was the most cheerful of the Akatsuki. He was unbalanced, of course, but his suicidal attempts weren't angst-driven, but rather to fulfill his duty as a ninja.

Sasuke felt a spark of jealousy – Naruto wasn't _supposed _to like Deidara. Itachi tolerating him enough to have him live with them was frustrating enough. But wasn't Naruto _his _best friend and closest bond and what not? He wasn't _allowed _to like or approve of Deidara.

When Sasuke voiced this sentiment, Naruto just laughed at him.

"Aw, teme, don't worry, I like you more," he teased, ruffling Sasuke's hair.

Sasuke glared at him murderously, slapping his hand away.

"Ow!" Naruto yelped, "Bastard!"

He'd added a small spark of chidori to that slap.

"Just shut the fuck up, stupid dobe," Sasuke muttered, "I don't care what you think."

"Sure you don't," Naruto rolled his eyes, but smirked, and indulged him, "So? What's bothering you then? You're being more of a prick than usual."

"It's just… Itachi…" Sasuke sighed, reasoning that he could confide in Naruto to a small extent – without giving the _real _details away, of course.

"What about him?"

"I hate Deidara but – he and Itachi seem almost –"

"Close?" Naruto finished for him, "Like – friends?"

"Hn."

"Well they're teammates, moron," Naruto said, "Most people are close to their teammates. They usually don't try to kill them either."

Sasuke shot him a glare, and Naruto shrugged.

"Just saying!"

"Screw you."

"I don't know why it's bugging you so much," Naruto whined, "But stop sulking! You've been like this for weeks, dattebayo! I haven't bought it up before but your pissed-off waves are bad for my nindo!"

"I – what?" Sasuke snarled, "I don't _sulk, _dobe! And that – that didn't even make any sense!"

"But I'm right," Naruto said sagely, "I always am. You're sulking because your brother doesn't have time for you anymore because he's always with Deidara."

"No!" Sasuke snapped, slightly frightened at how perceptive Naruto was being, "That's not it at all, deadlast!"

"You're sulking because you're scared that Itachi may actually like Deidara more than he likes you," Naruto went on, before grinning, "I'm totally right, aren't I, dattebayo?"

"You – you're fucking crazy!" Sasuke yelled, "That's not true! Itachi values me more than this entire damn village, he said so himself!"

"Of course he does," Naruto shook his head, "That's the point. Even with your freaky Sharingan, you're so blind sometimes, it's hilarious. I don't know how you can't see it. It's not the same for you and Deidara – so really you have nothing to be upset about."

"What are you talking about, dobe?" Sasuke growled.

"They're lovers, dattebayo!" Naruto cried, "Your brother and his ex-teammate! It's so obvious! Why do you think Deidara reformed and came back?"

Sasuke froze, his insides turning to ice.

Naruto's words echoed in his head mockingly.

_They're lovers, dattebayo! Your brother and his ex-teammate!_

"N-no," Sasuke muttered, "Fuck – no – that can't be-"

"Chill out, would you!" Naruto exclaimed, "Hey! Sasuke – what I'm saying is – it's completely different what Itachi feels for Deidara and what he does for you! You're still his favorite brother and stuff, he just probably likes banging Deidara-"

That was it – Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't bear to think of what Naruto was suggesting, though a small part of him which he'd been trying to deny had been hinting at that all along, ever since the he'd seen Itachi's expression when Deidara first showed up.

But still – for Naruto to proclaim it like that – and use the words 'banging' and 'Deidara' in the same sentence in reference to his brother – he just couldn't take it.

"You – you fucking moron!" Sasuke hissed.

Naruto's eyes widened.

"Sasuke – I didn't mean to offend you – Sasuke – wha-"

"CHIDORI!"

"HEY! ASSHOLE! WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?"

"TAKE THAT BACK NARUTO!" Sasuke roared.

Naruto ducked the Chidori and kicked out at him. Sasuke leapt over his foot, and strung again, but Naruto grabbed his wrist.

"Calm down!" Naruto shouted, "What the fuck is your problem, teme?"

The chidori was burning into his flesh, the electricity crackling. Blood streamed down Naruto's arm, but the boy didn't let go, glaring at Sasuke out of bright blue eyes.

"I know it's hard for you to share Itachi," Naruto panted, "But don't you think you're overdoing it?"

"Shut the fuck up," Sasuke hissed, finally releasing the Chidori, "What do you know?"

"Geez… what's wrong with you?" Naruto glared at him, massaging his bloodied and shredded wrist, which was steaming, as the wounds healed themselves almost instantly, "You're acting really weird."

"Just fuck off," Sasuke muttered.

"No, really – I don't get what your deal is – you get really weird around Itachi and Deidara, and I don't see your problem? I mean, you have me and Sakura, don't you think it'd be nice for Itachi to have his teammates too?"

"Just – just go," Sasuke shook his head, his heart pounding, "I – have to find Itachi."

"W-wait!" Naruto called after him, "What's wrong with you, Sasuke? You're being more of a jerk than usual!"

But Sasuke raced off, leaving Naruto with the bill.

He could feel Naruto's blue-eyed gaze boring into his back as he fled, but fortunately, the boy didn't try to pursue him – not this time.

Sasuke figured Naruto was probably tired of doing precisely that. He'd apologize to the dobe later – but first – first he had to find Itachi.

Itachi would probably be back from his mission right now.

Sasuke needed to find him and ask him, so he could _know _– know that whatever Naruto was saying was crap. Confirm that there wasn't anything _more _going on between Itachi and Deidara, that they were just teammates.

Naruto was an idiot anyways, who assumed things all the time. There was no reason why Sasuke should believe or be bothered by what he said.

But still, that didn't palliate the uneasy feeling in Sasuke's stomach as he bounded towards the Uchiha compound.

He could picture Itachi's response in his head.

His brother's eyes would widen – marginally. One eyebrow would rise. Itachi's expression for shock.

Than he would sigh, and bite his lip (an action Sasuke found intensely turning-on) and sit down on the couch, gesturing Sasuke to sit by him.

"I don't know where you get these ideas from, Sasuke," Itachi would tell him gently, "But that is one of the most ridiculous things I've heard."

"So it's not-"

"Of course not."

And then Sasuke would breathe out in relief, and Itachi would notice, because he always did. He always had.

_"What's wrong?" Itachi asked._

_"Nothing," Sasuke muttered._

_Itachi shot him a look, and Sasuke shrugged._

_"I just really thought you were…"_

_"And that bothered you?" Itachi looked at him strangely, before smirking slightly, "You were jealous, weren't you?"_

_"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sasuke muttered, glancing down._

_But then Itachi was closer, his fingers on Sasuke's chin, tilting his head up so that his eyes met Itachi's dark gaze._

_"You were," Itachi affirmed, still giving him that oh-so-sexy smirk, "But honestly, Sasuke – you don't have to be…"_

_"W-what?" Sasuke stiffened._

_Itachi's hands were then on his shoulders, pressing lightly but surely, and Sasuke could feel the warmth of his hands as he massaged Sasuke's shoulders through the thin fabric of his shirt._

_"This really had you tensed up, didn't it?" Itachi murmured, leaning closer so that his breath was now ghosting against Sasuke's lips._

_"Nii-san – I –"_

_"Foolish little brother," Itachi laughed softly, and his hands slid down Sasuke's back, before slipping underneath his shirt._

_Sasuke arched his back as Itachi's warm hands slid across the skin of his lower back, caressing lightly, before ghosting over his abs._

_"Itachi…"_

_Itachi leaned forward, his tongue flicking across Sasuke's lips._

_"You know you're the most important person to me, right, Sasuke? I already told you that…"_

_His tongue slipped into Sasuke's mouth, teasing, and his fingertips trailed across Sasuke's bare abs._

_"Nnnh…" Sasuke moaned, unable to articulate much with Itachi's tongue sliding so deliciously in and out of his mouth._

_"I couldn't care less about Deidara… or anyone else…" Itachi murmured, his mouth now trailing hot kisses down Sasuke's neck to his collarbone._

_He pushed Sasuke down onto the couch, climbing over him. His hands were gripping Sasuke's hips tightly, and Sasuke tried bucking his hips forward to meet Itachi's and feel some of that much-needed friction._

_Itachi held him tightly down though, eyes dancing._

_"Impatient, are we Sasuke?" he teased._

_He eased his body down so that his nose was brushing Sasuke's – but still, there was none of that friction down where Sasuke needed it most._

_His brother could really be a sadistic bastard._

_Itachi's hands stroked Sasuke's thighs, and Sasuke clenched his teeth, as his brother continued kissing a hot trail across his chest, biting, licking._

_His hand then moved, to cup Sasuke's hardness through his pants._

_"Nii-san…" Sasuke moaned, as Itachi gripped him, squeezing gently._

_He wound his arms around Itachi's neck, pulling his brother down to him, so that he could finally rub himself against him, pressing their bodies together._

_He buried his nose in Itachi's shirt, which smelled so musky, so masculine, so perfect, and Itachi's long locks tickled his neck._

_Sasuke ground himself against Itachi again, who was watching him, slightly amused. His brother's dark hair was mussed slightly, his ponytail hanging over his shoulder and brushing Sasuke's chest, his bangs framing his dark eyes as he watched Sasuke, a slight smirk on his handsome face._

_Sasuke couldn't help but stare back and Itachi raised an eyebrow in question._

_"You just – you – look -" Sasuke bit his lip, blushing heavily as he broke up._

_"Hn?"_

_"N-never mind."_

_Breathtaking. Stunning. Gorgeous. Orgasmic._

_He would never dare to say any of those things to his brother though. _

_Itachi smirked again, that sexy smirk, and then his fingers were sliding under the waistband of Sasuke's pants and fondling his bare, heated, hard flesh._

_"Nnnngh," Sasuke moaned again, bucking into Itachi's warm, calloused hands, relishing the feeling of those fingers against the taut flesh of his cock._

Sasuke nearly came then, until he realized where he actually was.

In the Uchiha Compound.

By himself.

Itachi wasn't there.

He exhaled deeply, pressing a hand to his cheeks, which were still flushed.

There was a tent in his pants.

Sasuke cursed.

The fantasies were getting even more realistic, almost like genjutsu in the manner in which they entirely sucked him in. He hadn't even realized that he had reached the Uchiha compound.

Sasuke shook his head, still feeling rather dazed, and gradually, his conversation with Naruto came flooding back to him – the conversation which, essentially, had been the premise of his latest fantasy.

"Itachi," Sasuke muttered, "Have to find Itachi…"

"Nii-san!" Sasuke called, running into the compound.

He had a sudden flashback – to what seemed like another lifetime – when he would burst through the very same doors, flushed and out of breath, calling for his brother – and Itachi would walk out of his room, and Sasuke would leap on him, hugging his brother as tight as he could with his chubby little arms, childish face beaming with overflowing delight -

But that was a long time ago.

Things had changed since then.

"Nii-san!" Sasuke called again.

There was no answer. Sasuke paused for a moment, and listened.

He could hear something – the running of water.

Obviously, Itachi was in the shower.

Sasuke felt a thrill of excitement as he bounded over to the bathroom door, knocking on it loudly.

"Itachi?"

"-Sasuke?" he heard Itachi's voice over the running water.

Itachi sounded hoarse, and there was something breathless in his tone which Sasuke had never heard before.

The way he said it – the way he said his name – breathless and husky and almost forced – sent Sasuke's mind off on another tangent; one that had Itachi, dripping wet under the spray of the shower head, his head thrown back and his eyes half-shut in a lustful haze, as he pumped his own cock.

_"-Sasuke!" Itachi cried out as he came, his white seed flowing over his fingers, mingling with the steady stream of water-_

"What - do you want?"

Sasuke jumped slightly at Itachi's voice – his brother sounded slightly strained.

_You. I want you. To fuck me. Blow me. Suck me off. Anything really, that involves a lot of touching._

"I need to talk to you," Sasuke said, "Now."

"Can't it – wait?"

"No!" Sasuke replied immediately.

"I'm almost – done. Just – give me five minutes."

There. Again. Sasuke was sure he hadn't imagined the slight breathless undercurrent to his brother's usual baritone.

It made him hard. It also made him panic. Why did Itachi sound like that? Was he just imagining things?

He had a sudden terrible image – of Deidara, on his knees, under the shower, sucking off Itachi with all three mouths – and then shook his head.

Naruto's stupid statement was really driving him insane. He needed to speak to Itachi – to hear it straight from his brother – now.

"Itachi! It can't wait! This is urgent, ok! I need to talk to you!" Sasuke persisted, not liking the petulant tone his voice had taken.

Seconds later the door slid open – just by a few inches – and Itachi's dark eyes peered at him from under dripping black bangs that were plastered against his forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt? Is it a mission? Are we – under attack?"

Itachi was rigid, and looked slightly tense, wound up almost. His dark eyes flicked over Sasuke, and Sasuke noticed, in slight surprise, that his Sharingan was activated.

His gaze didn't stay locked on Itachi's eyes for long though.

He couldn't help it – he just couldn't – and his eyes roved momentarily over the strip of his brother's body which he could see through the open door – soaked skin, abs, a hint of a bare bicep, dripping chest, towel – it was almost a déjà vu moment for Sasuke, and he found himself wondering if this encounter would end differently from the last one, where he'd ran into Itachi in a very similar state of dress – or undress, also wet.

"Sasuke…" Itachi said, "What do you want?"

_"I want you."_

_"What?" Itachi's eyes narrowed._

_Sasuke gulped._

_"Nii-san – I – I didn't mean it like that! I –"_

_"Is that so?" Itachi asked, tilting his head._

_Then a moment later he'd pulled Sasuke in and shoved him against the tiled wall._

_Sasuke grunted as the hot spray of the shower hit him, pushing his bangs into his face. He couldn't adjust his position though, because seconds later, Itachi was behind him – pressing Sasuke into the wall with his hard, slick body._

_"I-Itachi?" Sasuke choked._

_Itachi said nothing, though his hands scraped against Sasuke's sides, before sliding between him and the wall to squeeze his cock._

_Itachi's teeth and tongue were on the back of Sasuke's neck – an extra-sensitive spot – and his brother bit down._

_He pressed into Sasuke, and Sasuke could feel his brother's wet hardness pressing against his opening. There was something extremely turning on about being under the shower, soaking wet, the same trails of water streaming down both their naked bodies, intermingling – and all it would take was one thrust, and Itachi would be buried in him._

_But Itachi didn't take him. Instead, he flipped Sasuke along, rather roughly. Sasuke barely had time to enjoy the feeling of his brother's lips against his own, their slick chests rubbing together – because then Itachi forcefully shoved him down, to his knees, and thrust his own cock forward._

_"Nii-san?"_

_"Sasuke," Itachi's eyes were glinting, the Sharingan spinning as he memorized Sasuke's every move, ever expression._

_"Wh-what do you want?"_

_"You know what I want," Itachi said silkily, sounding almost dangerous, "I'm going to fuck your mouth, Sasuke. And you're going to be a good boy, and take it."_

"Way to ruin a moment, moron."

Sasuke's fantasy shattered into a zillion pieces (if anything was strong enough to break genjutsu it was _that – _that obnoxious voice) and he nearly choked on his own spit.

Deidara sounded annoyed.

There was movement in the bathroom behind Itachi. Sasuke's eyes widened in disbelief, his mouth going dry.

_No. Please. No. It can't be. _

Itachi's eyes narrowed – and his expression at that moment, as he angled his head to the side, was positively murderous.

A tan arm wrapped around Itachi's waist – the hands trailing across his brother's glorious abdomen. Sasuke saw Itachi's abdominal muscles clench under Deidara's touch.

_No. No! This isn't fair. I want this! This isn't fucking fair!_

"Deidara, go back inside," Itachi gritted out, tensing up.

His eyes flickered over to Sasuke almost worriedly.

Sasuke was still staring at him, almost blankly – taking in every little move, every little expression, every twitch.

"But it's cold without you, un," Deidara murmured, his other hand coming up to Itachi's chest.

Sasuke was pretty sure he saw more pink – a flash of tongue.

_No. Not – not – him! Fucking Deidara!_

Deidara leaned his head over Itachi's shoulder, and smirked at Sasuke.

"Can't you see your brother's busy, un? Itachi, come back and finish what you started, you bastard!"

And with that, Deidara pulled Itachi back and slammed the door in Sasuke's face,

Sasuke would have chidori-d it down – if he could even recall how to mould chakra at that moment. But he couldn't, because he was overwhelmed with a deep-seated, furiously bubbling jealousy. It was stronger than any emotion he had ever felt, even all the bloodlust and the anger and the hatred (which had never truly been there). It was stronger than his feelings for revenge, and Sasuke thought he would burst, right at that moment-

_No. No! NO! NO!_

_-/_\-_

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"…go away…"

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"…m'sleeping, 'ttebayo…"

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"Aright, alright!" Naruto groused, rubbing at his eyes as he practically tumbled out of his bed.

He cursed and picked himself up, trudging to the front door, and unlocking it.

"What the hell do you want – _Sasuke?"_

Naruto's blue eyes widened, all traces of sleep vanishing almost instantaneously.

His dark-haired teammate stood outside, looking paler than usual, and more rigid. His hands were jammed into his pockets.

"Yo, teme – what's wrong?" Naruto asked, opening the door, "You look pretty beat."

Sasuke said nothing, just stared at the ground for a few moments, before he looked up, his onyx eyes meeting Naruto's.

There was something strange – something _different _– about him. His eyes were bright, oddly bright – and _shining._

And then Naruto realized, with a sudden lurch of his stomach, that Sasuke was _crying - _almost_._

"Sasuke!" he cried, grabbing his friend's shoulders, "What's wrong?"

Sasuke just shrugged him off, shaking his head, and then looked down again.

When he spoke, his voice was soft, and hesitant – and so very unlike his usual self.

"Could I – could I stay over here? For tonight?"

Naruto stared at him, open-mouthed for a few seconds, before shutting said mouth and nodding furiously, trying to keep the smile off his face.

"Sure you can, teme," he said, trying not to sound _too _excited, "Just – uh – well, come in!"

He gripped Sasuke's shoulder again, surprised to meet no resistance, and pulled his friend in, shutting and locking the door behind them.

"So – um – Sasuke… what's up?"

-/_\-

_Author's Note: Well... phew... that was that! I'm terribly sorry to leave it at such a cliffy, hehe :P_

_Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please do review! I will try to update asap, though I can't promise when as I'm in university and thus inundated with work; I'm surprised I managed this one! _

_And yes, as you can probably tell this is evolving into SasuNaru ItaDei and one-sided ItaSasu. There will be actual ItaSasu eventually - though I don't know whether it will be real, or just genjutsu/fantasy/clone scenario. I'm not sure how I want this story to develop yet. I'm just intrigued a writing NotEvil!Itachi and Sasuke, post-canon. _

_So yeah. Hopefully none of those pairings will bother anyone! And I'm sorry to those of you who wanted more ItaSasu. It WILL come - even if it's not actual action :S I'm sorry if you were expecting/wanted something different. I just can't write Itachi sexing up little Sasuke. Not yet. _

_Also next chapter will possibly have some stuff from Itachi's POV! _

_Finally: **DON'T READ THIS LITTLE PARAGRAPH IF YOU'RE NOT UP TO DATE ON THE MANGA, THANKS.** LATEST MANGA CHAPTER GUYS! OH MY EFFING GOD! I cannot WAIT till next Wednesday! I nearly DIED! You know, the first scene of this entire story (the platonic one) COULD HAPPEN! Gahhh Kishimoto better give us some ItaSasu fluff! Kami-sama knows they deserve it! _

_**OKAY YOU CAN ALL START READING AGAIN NOW.**_

_If anyone even bothers reading Author's Notes :P Anyways, thanks for all the support! You're all lovely! I sincerely hope this chapter with the pairings didn't upset anyone, because that would upset me because you're all so great! Review please - it really does speed up my updates! That sounds weird, I know, but when you're in college - well every little minute counts._

_xx_

_HighQueen_


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer - I don't own Naruto. _

_Author's Note: Well there you go! Did the earlier Naruto chapter frustrate anyone a little? I mean the interaction was beautiful - but I just wanted - more. Okay, I don't want to spoil, so I won't go over that now (it'll be in my bottom author's note haha)_

_Anyways, this chapter was born out of your lovely and amazing reviews. Because I seriously do NOT have time to update and SHOULD NOT be updating right now, I'm so busy. But you all were so spectacular and I was just filled with such love for you people that - well, I sort of had to. So keep it up! Really, you don't know how much it means to me. I'm going through a rather difficult period of my life right now (can't you tell from all the dark, angsty fics? haha) and this is sort of a method of escape (depraved escape but escape nonetheless) for me, this world of fanfiction - and your reviews make it a happier place for me and I could do with some happiness right now. So really, thank you :) love you all indescribably._

_Special thanks to **Sihnya, WraithReaper, missbip0lar, XxAngel of MadnessxX, jemesouviendraitjs, NoelleIsParadise, juliee, Anime-girl-next-door, Hira, Aon, avm98, AndIbreathenomore, krissyk, Houki, Melody **and **Aniya and ****Lizzia **for your kind and delightful reviews! You guys are amazing!_

_To answer a few questions: yes, there will be ItaDei and SasuNaru, but it will have ItaSasu eventually in the end. I may even do two alternate endings haha, let's see. But you will get ItaSasu, worry not my readers! _

_And yes, I am more than willing to take suggestions and see if I can incorporate them - so if you have an idea or particularly steamy fantasy in mind, leave it in a review! (if you're embarrassed, I take anonymous reviews as well, so feel free to do that!)_

_A large part of this chapter was actually inspired by someone who PMd me - I won't mention her name because she told me not to - but this lovely reader requested specifically for uchibicest. At first I wasn't sure what that was exactly, and if I could write it - but then I read some fics for inspiration (many of the older ones are totally uchibicest) and gave it a shot! So really - anything you want, don't feel shy, let me know :)_

_And now the warnings._

**_Rated M for everything mentioned in the previous chapters. Also, this chapter has uchibicest. You have been warned. That probably makes it more depraved and sickening than my previous chapters. Seriously. If that offends you don't read this chapter. Honestly, you can skip it because this isn't very important to the plot. It's just a few readers have requested it and - well, here it is. (Uchibicest is basically ItachixLittle!Sasuke) I'm warning you: AFTER THE SECOND ROUND OF ITALICIZED TEXT STOPS, YOU MAY WANT TO STOP READING._**

Well, there you have it. No steamy Itachi/Sasuke adult fantasies for you this chapter. Sorry about that. But lots of cute ItaSasu chibi fluff. Really, anyone can read the first few paragraphs of italics. It's only when the second round of italics comes that you have - well - potential issues.

_-/_\-  
><em>

_Itachi cradled the little baby in his arms. Sasuke's tiny eyes were screwed shut, and his minuscule fists were tightly closed, but he was bawling, little high-pitched cries, as if he could sense the unease in the atmosphere._

_Itachi didn't know what it was – but something was off in Konoha. Their parents were out, and it gave him the chills, and the unshakable feeling that something terrible – unspeakable sinister – was about to happen._

_Still, he brushed it all away, focusing on the infant that was in his arms, swaddled in blue blankets. Tufts of black hair were visible on Sasuke's head, but the baby was still crying._

_"Don't worry, Sasuke," Itachi said soothingly, leaning down, "Your nii-san will always be here to protect you…"_

_He rocked Sasuke gently, and this seemed to calm the tiny baby, who gradually quieted, sobs dying down, until he fell asleep, in his brother's arms._

_Ever since that day, whenever Sasuke was being particularly difficult, Mikoto always called Itachi to cradle him, to hold him, to calm him down – something about his brother's presence worked wonders on the little baby – and they had a connection, a connection which even his own mother didn't have with him. _

-/_\-

_Sasuke clutched at the bars of the crib, his tiny fingers fisting over the round wood. His large eyes were round and bright, full of curious interest as he observed Itachi._

_Sasuke could recognize his older brother. He immediately brightened when Itachi walked into the room. _

_Standing up, supported by his chubby little legs, Sasuke barely reached Itachi's knees. But he was in a crib, and Itachi was kneeling down, so they were pretty much eye-level._

_Sasuke smiled sweetly, dimpling, as Itachi nodded at him._

_"Hello there, Sasuke," Itachi said quietly, and Sasuke gurgled happily._

_He let go of one of the crib bars and reached forwards with his tiny hand, grasping at the air._

_Itachi understood, smiled, and offered him a finger, which the infant immediately latched onto, squealing with delight._

_"You're adorable, you know," Itachi murmured, "It's hard to think you're going to be a shinobi one day… fighting… I wish I could protect you from all that, but I guess it's your destiny, right?"_

_Sasuke made a cute little face, scrunching up his nose, and he pulled at Itachi's finger._

_"Alright, I guess you're tired of sitting around in there all day," Itachi nodded, standing up and leaning down to carefully pick up the little child. _

_Sasuke was soft and warm, and in his blue fleece Uchiha fan-patterned bunting, was also quite cozy. He immediately cuddled against his big brother happily, and though Itachi was barely six, he was very good when it came to handling Sasuke._

_"You know, nii-san wishes he wasn't so busy training all the time," Itachi admitted, burying his cheek against Sasuke's soft hair, "Nii-san would really love to play with you, and look after you more. But nii-san always has so much he has to do…"_

_Sasuke mumbled something – a faint something – but it was different, different from his usual nonsensical gurgle._

_"Wh-what?" Itachi couldn't help but ask, suddenly feeling giddy._

_"Nii-san!"_

_There it was again – not entirely properly pronounced – but it was undeniable._

_"Sasuke – Sasuke – you," Itachi bit his lip, overwhelmed._

_"Nii-san!" Sasuke squealed, and Itachi hugged his baby brother, his heart melting._

_"You're right," Itachi whispered, "And nii-san loves you very much."_

_Sasuke just stared at him out of large obsidian eyes, but Itachi still had the feeling that somewhere within him, his little mind had understood._

_Itachi pressed a chaste kiss against his brother's plump cheek – and Sasuke squealed with delight._

_Itachi smiled._

_"You like that?" he asked, before kissing Sasuke's other cheek._

_Sasuke laughed, a ringing childish sound, which lit up Itachi's work._

_"I love you so much," he murmured, before adjusting his hold on the little boy and walking towards the kitchen._

_"Kaa-san!" Itachi called, trying not to sound too proud, "Kaa-san, Sasuke just said his first word!" _

-/_\-

_When Itachi returned home from his first day of Academy, he was surprised to find Sasuke in his room, curled up into a tiny ball on his bed, sobbing._

_"Sasuke!" Itachi cried, concerned, rushing over, "Otouto, what's wrong?"_

_The little boy immediately uncurled and sat up at his voice, obsidian eyes widening._

_"Nii-san!" Sasuke choked._

_"Yes, it's me, what's the matter?" Itachi asked, sitting down and pulling the small child into his lap, "Why are you crying, Sasuke?" _

_Sasuke's wide eyes were rimmed with read and there were tear trails down his chubby cheeks. He sniffled pitifully, rubbing at his eyes with tiny fists. _

_Itachi stroked his back soothingly, and eventually, Sasuke relaxed, and buried his face into his brother's neck, snuggling closer to Itachi's chest for warmth._

_"Now will you tell me what's wrong?" Itachi asked, ruffling Sasuke's head._

_Sasuke looked up at him adoringly, though there was a pout on his lips._

_"When I woke – nii-san – nii-san was gone," Sasuke said sulkily, and he sounded so heartbroken over the fact that Itachi just wanted to squeeze him tightly and never let him go._

_"I – told you yesterday. Academy started for me," Itachi explained, "I told you I wouldn't be able to see you that often."_

_"But nii-san wasn't there," Sasuke hiccuped, eyes watering up again, "Don't go 'way, nii-san! Please! Take Sas'ke too!"_

_"I'm sorry Sasuke," Itachi said, hugging his little brother tightly, "But every day, I'll be gone for a few hours."_

_"Why?" Sasuke demanded miserably._

_"I have to. It's nii-san's duty, if he wants to become a strong shinobi. Sasuke, you want to be a shinobi too, right?"_

_Sasuke nodded vigorously._

_"Besides, it's only a few hours – I promise I'll be back after lunch, and then we can play together, okay?"_

_"'Kay," Sasuke mumbled, looking up at Itachi adoringly for a moment, before burying his head into his brother's shirt again. _

-/_\-

_"Nii-san!"_

_Itachi had barely entered the house when there was a familiar high-pitched shout, and a small creature came barreling towards him._

_Itachi smiled at his little brother's enthusiasm, his heart warming; the way Sasuke acted, it seemed as if every day he came home from the academy was a day he'd returned home after a dangerous, month-long S-rank mission._

_"You're home!" Sasuke squealed, round obsidian eyes wide and full of delight._

_He clung to Itachi tightly, wrapping his chubby little arms around his brother's waist – or as much of Itachi that he could get around – burying his little head in Itachi's stomach. _

_Itachi ruffled Sasuke's soft, unruly spikes, and the little child looked up at him, beaming._

_"Will you play with me?" Sasuke asked excitedly, smiling sweetly, and Itachi knew he couldn't say no to those eyes, to that face._

_"Your brother has homework!" his mother snapped, as she walked by with a load of laundry._

_The effect on Sasuke's face was almost comical. The wide excited eyes drooped down sorrowfully, and his little pink lips trembled._

_He was adorable; even when upset. Though Itachi found Sasuke's sadness excessively cute, he didn't like seeing his little brother sad._

_"Don't worry, the homework is easy, I can do it later," he said, eyes crinkling as Sasuke looked up at him with delight._

_"What shall we play, nii-san?" Sasuke asked breathlessly, "Can we play hide-and-seek? In the forest again?"_

_"If you want," Itachi said indulgently, gently prying the little boy away from him._

_Sasuke would have none of that though, and immediately grasped his elder's hand in his tiny fingers, skipping happily alongside him as they made their way to the forest._

-/_\-

_There was a soft knock on his door, barely audible – but it woke Itachi immediately, and he realized who it was. Only one person had small enough fists to knock that softly._

_Itachi swung out of beg and padded towards the door, opening it, revealing a tired-looking little figure standing in the doorway._

_"Sasuke?" Itachi crouched down, "What's the matter?"_

_Sasuke was still apparently half asleep, judging from his drooping eyes, but he was holding something, concealed behind his back._

_"Nii-san," Sasuke said softly, "It's midnight, right?"_

_"Yes," Itachi nodded, wondering what his brother was trying to hide._

_"Happy birthday," Sasuke said, before thrusting his hands out, "I got you something. It's stupid but – you're a ninja now – and I didn't know what to get you…"_

_"…Sasuke," Itachi's heart leapt, and he was incredibly touched by his gesture._

_For his little brother to remember such a thing – and to come and try to wish him at the exact hour of his birthday – that too, with a present – it was overwhelming._

_Sasuke was staring at him expectantly, wide eyes shining under the moonlight. _

_"You – you didn't have to do this for me," Itachi said softly, and Sasuke's face fell, but Itachi placed his hands on his small shoulders, "But I'm so grateful that you did. Thank you."_

_Sasuke's face lit up at the two words, and his beaming smile warmed Itachi's heart. Itachi smiled back at his overjoyed little brother, awed that something so small could bring such joy on Sasuke's innocent little face._

_"I put an alarm," Sasuke said happily._

_"That's really smart of you," Itachi told him, kissing his dark spikes._

_Sasuke blushed, and Itachi couldn't help but reach out to pinch one soft cheek._

_"Hey!" Sasuke squealed, rubbing at his face, "Nii-san!"_

_"Sorry, couldn't resist," Itachi told him, grinning, and Sasuke's indignation immediately melted away, to be replaced by that same, age-old adoration. _

_"Aren't you going to see what I got you, nii-san?" Sasuke asked cutely, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet._

_'I'd love to," Itachi said, uncurling the small fingers._

_He picked up the three kunai – they were tiny – Sasuke's own probably, because they were about half the size of real kunai – though they'd been polished and were gleaming brightly._

_Logically, it was a completely useless present, Itachi knew. Sasuke wasn't allowed to use actual kunai yet, and was given training kunai – which were half the size (so that he could fit his tiny fingers around them) and were completely blunt – they would be utterly pointless in a mission._

_Still, in his heart, Itachi was warmed by the innocence, the sweetness and the kindness behind the gesture. Sasuke had obviously given him his three best kunai – and had painstakingly wiped them till they shone first. (Itachi had seen Sasuke practice with them; they'd been filthy)._

_"This is very kind of you, Sasuke," Itachi said gently, "They're beautiful."_

_He knew he had to accept them – Sasuke would sulk endlessly if he didn't._

_"But you didn't have to get me something."_

_"I did!" Sasuke argued earnestly, "'Cause you're always so nice to me nii-san and I – I – love you!"_

_The little boy blushed at this, and Itachi laughed softly._

_"You're so adorable, Sasuke," he said, hugging the little creature._

_Sasuke happily obliged, hugging Itachi back._

_"So, what do you want in return?" Itachi asked, eyes twinkling._

_Sasuke flushed deeper._

_"You don't have to – give me anything – nii-san," Sasuke mumbled, "It's your birthday, not mine."_

_"Yes, but I still think you deserve something for being so sweet," Itachi said, mentally making a note to pick up a new set of training kunai for Sasuke the next day._

_"Um…" Sasuke bit his lip, twiddling with his fingers, "Anything, nii-san?"_

_"Anything, Sasuke," Itachi promised, tweaking Sasuke's nose._

_Sasuke scrunched his nose, and made a face._

_"Hey!"_

_"So – what do you want?" Itachi asked, smiling, "Training shuriken? Do you want me to show you a cool new jutsu?"_

_"No," Sasuke shook his head," Um – I want – um…"_

_He was fidgeting, and seemed shy._

_"What's wrong?" Itachi asked, "Go ahead. It's just me."_

_"Could I – um – sleep with you tonight?" Sasuke asked, his tiny voice hopeful._

_Itachi raised an eyebrow, slightly shocked._

_"You mean – in my bed?" he asked, hesitatingly, "Why would you ask that?"_

_"Because nii-san is always so warm – and comfortable – and I feel safe with you," Sasuke mumbled, before looking down sorrowfully, "It's okay if you don't want me to."_

_"No," Itachi said immediately, willing to do anything to make that despondent little expression go away, anything to see the sparkle in his brother's ebony eyes, "No, of course I don't not want you to! I'm just surprised that's all you'd ask for."_

_"Sorry," Sasuke mumbled, biting his lip, and Itachi suddenly felt rather vile, for having disappointed the poor child._

_"Come on," he said, scooping Sasuke up._

_Sasuke looked at him in surprise, and Itachi smiled, carrying the little boy and placing him on one side of his bed._

_"In you go," Itachi said, pulling the covers off, and Sasuke immediately slipped inside, before curling into a tight little ball, though he didn't close his eyes, and continued to stare up with devotion at his big brother._

_Itachi pulled the blankets up and tucked them around Sasuke's form, making sure his little brother was snug._

_He then walked to the other side of the bed, placed his new kunai carefully on his dresser, and climbed onto the bed, sliding under the blankets._

_"Night, Sasuke," Itachi murmured._

_"Night, nii-san," Sasuke squeaked._

_Itachi was about to fall asleep when he felt a small, soft form latch onto him, snuggling into his chest. Sasuke's eyes were closed, and he had a cute little smile on his lips._

_Itachi watched the slumbering child and smiled, stroking Sasuke's head. _

-/_\-

_Sasuke was pouting._

_Itachi knew that a small part of him sometimes enjoyed tormenting Sasuke – just to see that pout. It was far too adorable._

_The little boy's arms were crossed, and he was looking off to the side, though Itachi could tell he wasn't really angry. His dark eyes kept flicking sideways, peeking at him, for some gesture, or some indication, and he seemed to be quivering with anticipation._

_Itachi smiled slightly, before giving in, and gesturing to Sasuke._

_Again, his face transformed into one of delight, and Itachi marveled at how his expressions could change so rapidly in under a second._

_A light blush overcame his chubby cheeks, and Sasuke scampered towards Itachi as fast as his little feet would carry him._

_Itachi grinned, leaning forward, to poke Sasuke (not too roughly) in the forehead._

_The little boy glared at him, eyebrows furrowing, wide eyes attempting to look angry. He was still pouting._

_Itachi was fighting a smile now, as he watched Sasuke's indignant and righteous fury. It was charming._

_"Nii-san!" Sasuke whined, "You're so mean!"_

_"Am I, now?" Itachi asked, kneeling down so he was at Sasuke's level._

_"No!" the child said immediately, flushing, and Itachi was touched by his utter loyalty, even when it came to matters as trivial as these, "But – but – why can't you just teach me the shuriken jutsu! You promised you would"!_

_His tone was petulant now, and less pseudo-angry._

_"Well, Sasuke, that jutsu is a little high level," Itachi said gently, "How about we start with something simpler? I wouldn't want you to get hurt."_

_"I won't get hurt, nii-san!" Sasuke exclaimed, running forward to grasp the kunai in his tiny fingers, and leaping up, "Watch me!"_

_He flipped over, and managed to hurl the kunai out, though Itachi had to pluck one out of mid-air to stop it from gouging his own eye out – Sasuke really needed to improve on his aim._

_A second later, and the small boy was on the forest floor, clutching at his ankle._

_"Sasuke," Itachi called, concerned._

_"It – it's fine," Sasuke whimpered in a small voice._

_His head was lowered, and he was trembling slightly. Itachi was sure he was on the verge of tears, and was trying to hide it._

_"Here, let me check," Itachi said softly, prying Sasuke's small hands away from his ankle._

_Itachi slipped his brother's sandals off, pressing his fingers against the tender flesh._

_Sasuke whimpered again._

_"It's a clean twist," Itachi said, "Nothing too serious. Don't worry, you'll be fine in a few days. Let's get you wrapped up, and we'll ice it once we're home, okay?"_

_"Th-thank you, nii-san," Sasuke murmured._

_"Don't thank me," Itachi said, lifting Sasuke's chin._

_The little boy's eyes were wide and filled with tears, tears which he refused to let spill out. It was pitiful. Itachi wanted to hug him. _

_"Just don't do that again, okay?" Itachi reprimanded gently, "Foolish little brother."_

_Sasuke's bottom lip quivered now, and Itachi smiled, running his thumb against Sasuke's soft cheek, wiping away the one tear that had fallen._

_"It's alright. I know it hurts," he said softly, "Just bear with it, okay? You're strong, Sasuke. I know you can."_

_Sasuke nodded, biting his lip, and Itachi patted his head, before leaning down to tighten the bandages around his leg._

_Sasuke winced a few times but didn't cry out, much to Itachi's relief. He hated seeing or hearing his little brother in pain. His protective instincts rebelled every time that happened._

_"Are you okay? Do you want to go back?" Itachi asked when he was done._

_Sasuke was still staring at him, wide-eyed._

_"What's wrong?" Itachi asked._

_"Nii-san…" Sasuke said tremulously, "Um – I –"_

_"What is it?" Itachi coaxed, "You can tell me anything."_

_Sasuke shook his head adorably, and there was that little blush again, on those soft, round cheeks. His was still gazing at Itachi with wide, attentive eyes._

_Sasuke then held out his little arms, looking at Itachi shyly, but expectantly._

_Itachi laughed softly at this. Sasuke was impossibly cute when he was asking for affection._

_"Come here," Itachi murmured, pulling the little child into his lap, careful not to bend Sasuke's leg around his ankle._

_Sasuke immediately latched onto him, little fingers digging into the cloth of Itachi's shirt, his head snuggling into Itachi's chest._

_"You're tired, aren't you?" Itachi asked._

_"Mmhm," Sasuke mumbled. _

_"Come on," Itachi said, standing up, and shifting Sasuke to his back._

_Sasuke immediately latched his chubby arms around Itachi's neck, as Itachi hooked his arms under Sasuke's thighs._

_"Let's get you home."_

_"Okay!" Sasuke chirped, suddenly sounding more cheerful as he pressed his cheek against Itachi's. _

-/_\-

Dark eyes peered into the night, wider than usual, and slender fingers hooked through the three metal rings that hung from his omnipresent necklace.

Three metal rings that had once been attached to the handles of three tiny metal kunai, gifted to him with such innocent love, from the most important person in his world.

Itachi couldn't help the memories – the abundant flood of memories that poured into his mind.

_Sasuke… otouto…_

He wasn't an insomniac – but he was wide-awake, and he wasn't sure why. He should be tired. He cast his dark eyes to the side, where Deidara was sprawled out, blonde hair falling across the pillow like a golden sheet. The blonde's muscled back was partly visible, not entirely concealed by the white blanket – and it had a silvery sheen under the moonlight.

Itachi smiled, remembering the way Deidara's back muscles had rippled and clenched below him, early that night, as he'd pounded repeatedly into the gorgeous blonde – but this wasn't the time for that.

Sasuke's face haunted him again – his young, naïve, innocent face, full of wide-eyed joy and adoration – and then his older face, hurt and screwed with pain.

And Itachi couldn't stop the guilt, the terrible tugging guilt – at the fact that the transformation had been entirely his fault.

The first time. And the second.

Still – Sasuke seemed to have healed now, from the second time. He seemed happier. He spent more time with his team. This relieved Itachi, who had never wanted anything more than his younger brother's happiness.

_He has Naruto, _Itachi thought, _just as I have Deidara… he'll realize it, soon enough…_

Itachi was eternally grateful to the blonde for everything the boy had done, and tried to do for Sasuke – actions like that were born out of unwavering devotion – and love. Itachi knew this, and he was fond of Naruto, and also admired the younger boy. He hated the fact that because of him, not only had Sasuke been hurting – but inadvertently Naruto as well - since he had stood in the way of Naruto and Sasuke.

Still, things seemed to have changed since all those months ago, and Itachi preferred to bury away the incidents and ghosts of the past. Sasuke was acting differently now, which meant he'd gotten over – whatever it was.

And he could finally find happiness in Naruto. That is what Itachi hoped for – because never had he seen two boys more deserving of happiness, more suited for one another than his younger brother and his loyal friend.

They also reminded him, in more ways than one, of a younger version of himself and Deidara.

Itachi wasn't blind. Despite Sasuke's fervent denials, Itachi could see that somewhere, his little brother did harbor feelings for Naruto – and as much as Sasuke attempted to quash them, to repel them – they would inadvertently surface. Naruto and Sasuke were inevitable – they were like two magnets, always pushing each other away and then inexorably pulling one another back. It was only a matter of time until they realized what this magnetism really was, how it ran deeper than just 'friendly' or 'brotherly' bonds.

With that thought, Itachi settled back down, and hooked an arm around the sleeping blonde by his side, pressing his own bare chest to Deidara's back.

He smiled slightly as the blonde's fingers intertwined with his own, a tongue flicking out to lick lightly at his palm – before drifting off to sleep, and a night of more dreams and memories.

-/_\-

_"You're filthy," Itachi stated, "What happened?"_

_Sasuke flushed._

_"I was – trying to do this cool taijutsu move- and I fell – in a puddle."_

_"Clumsy," Itachi teased, poking Sasuke's forehead._

_"No, I'm not!" Sasuke wailed, embarrassed, "I'm going to be as strong a shinobi as you, nii-san!"_

_ "Shinobi don't fall into puddles," Itachi told him, still teasing – though it was all really just to bring on the pout – which soon appeared, as always, on Sasuke's adorably annoyed face._

_"You're so mean! I don't like you!" Sasuke cried._

_"Come on now, let's get you washed," Itachi laughed, leaning down to scoop the child up._

_Sasuke scurried away however, attempting to glare at his brother out of baleful wide eyes._

_"I hate you!" he declared with a childish passion._

_"Really?" Itachi asked, tilting his head down, "I'm hurt."_

_He watched in secret enjoyment out of the corner of his eyes, as Sasuke stared at him in shock, fumbling over his words._

_"N-no! Nii-san – not really – I'm not – please don't – I'm sorry!" the little boy cried, grabbing Itachi's hand and tugging frantically, "I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!"_

_Itachi looked up, and smirked at him, a little evilly._

_"Foolish little brother," he chuckled, poking Sasuke's forehead, "I'm just messing with you."_

_"Nii-san!" Sasuke shrieked, crossing his arms._

_Itachi picked up the squirming child and managed to carry him to the bathroom despite Sasuke's protests._

_"What are you doing?" Sasuke squealed._

_"Getting you cleaned up," Itachi rolled his eyes, "Kaa-san is busy cooking, so she told me to do it."_

_"Oh," Sasuke said, round eyes wide, and that was all he had to say on that matter._

_Itachi quickly stripped his little brother of damp, mud-covered clothes, before picking him up and unceremoniously dumping him into the soapy water._

_"Hey!" Sasuke cried, sputtering._

_"Wash up, now," Itachi smiled, "You smell funny."_

_"But – but – Kaa-san usually makes me have a bath," Sasuke sulked._

_"Still?" Itachi raised an eyebrow, "I thought you knew how to do it on your own?"_

_"Can't nii-san just do it?" Sasuke entreated, before smiling sweetly, "Please?"_

_He was looking at Itachi with those wide puppy-eyes again._

_Itachi sighed._

_"Alright," he murmured, picking up a washcloth and soap, "Just don't splash too much."_

_Sasuke beamed, and Itachi wet the washcloth, before running it chastely over his younger brother's body, scrubbing. He then did the same with the bar of soap. _

_Sasuke splashed him playfully, and Itachi ducked, though when he came back up, his face was dripping._

_"Why you little –" Itachi began, eyes twinkling, but then he splashed at Sasuke, harder, and the little boy shrieked happily._

_"Nii-san!" _

_"What?" Itachi asked playfully, splashing him again, "Can't play at your own game, Sasuke?" _

He then dipped his hands underneath the bathwater, placing them on Sasuke's chubby little thighs.

Sasuke gave a little gasp.

"Nii-san? What – what are you-"

"Just relax, Sasuke," Itachi murmured softly, "You wanted me to give you a bath right?"

His smooth hands ran up and down Sasuke's slick thighs, caressing the insides surely. They then moved up to run over Sasuke's stomach, still chubby with childish fat. Sasuke trembled at the feeling of Itachi's wet fingers, trailing across his stomach.

"Y-yes," Sasuke stammered, "B-but-"

"No buts," Itachi said huskily, "Just enjoy…"

He was older now, it seemed, by a few years. His bangs were longer, and his hands were larger too, and more calloused.

Sasuke was still small though, but the feeling of Itachi's large hands trailing sinfully across his wet skin was something he enjoyed, even then.

"You wanted this," Itachi whispered, his hands slipping over Sasuke's chest and soft nipples, before squeezing his chubby little arms, "You wanted nii-san to touch you, didn't you, Sasuke?"

Sasuke whimpered, as Itachi turned him around, running slick hands down Sasuke's pale back, before cupping his small cheeks – they were soft, round – and fit perfectly into Itachi's palms.

"Nii-san!" Sasuke squealed, as Itachi squeezed.

Itachi then reached over to take the soap, and ran the bar teasingly up and down Sasuke's wet body.

"Nii-san – please!" Sasuke was whimpering pitifully, trembling, as the bar of soap slid across his buttocks.

Itachi then placed his hands on Sasuke again, rubbing and kneading, lathering the soap and spreading it all over Sasuke's body.

The tiny child was squirming and writhing, but didn't seem to have any protests to this.

Itachi then bought his hands to Sasuke's thighs again, squeezing the softness, before moving slightly upwards, his fingers wrapping around Sasuke's tiny cock.

Sasuke's cock was still small, not entirely developed – just a nicely shaped piece of soft, supple flesh – but it responded, nonetheless – as much as it could at that age.

And Itachi's hands caressed this little manhood – or rather boyhood – carefully, pinching slightly, which caused Sasuke to yelp and buck forwards into Itachi's palm.

And a second later, Sasuke came, long and hard all over his sheets.

And then he realized, with a gasp – that his latest fantasy – was one that put all others to shame, even the violent ones – it was one that had been born out of the darkest depths of his mind, the most convoluted and twisted realms of his soul – because only a monster could think of something like that.

Only a monster could think of something so wrong, something that _defiled _such innocence (and how could it be innocence, for it was he who had been the innocence, and yet he who had dreamt up the entire thing, a defilement of his younger, more innocent self). Only a monster could think up of something that _tainted _such precious memories.

For they were memories. Sasuke remembered the bath incident clearly. He had enjoyed it when he was a child, relishing the attention Itachi had lavished upon him, while painstakingly getting him clean. But Itachi had, all that while, been careful. He'd never touched him inappropriately, he'd used a washcloth, and a bar of soap – and his actions had never been that salacious, that deliberate, that teasing – and Sasuke was _certain _that Itachi had never touched him _there._

He'd been four at the time. Itachi had been nine. He was _depraved _to think of something like that – and yet the fantasy had left him strangely excited.

Sasuke shifted uneasily on the couch, wrenching the covers up; he then wondered _why _he was on a couch – when memories of the previous night came flooding back.

His brother and Deidara.

Itachi and Deidara.

Bare, wet, slick skin.

Wandering hands.

Tongues.

Sasuke scowled into the night, as the feeling of dread, combined with the overwhelming deluge of jealousy, welled up inside of him.

Deidara had pretty much hijacked his shower fantasies with Itachi.

Sasuke cursed, rolling over on the couch, readjusting his position.

He could see Naruto now – the door of Naruto's bedroom was open, and Sasuke could see the blonde, a hunched up form under the blankets, bathed by silver moonlight.

Sasuke had crashed Naruto's home the earlier night. He'd refused to talk though, saying he was tired and wanted sleep. Naruto had let him – though Sasuke was pretty sure that meant he was up for a full interrogation in the morning, something which he wasn't looking forward to.

After Itachi, Sasuke found it exceedingly difficult to lie to Naruto now.

His thoughts wandered back to his brief conversation with Naruto the night before.

_"So – um – Sasuke – what's up?" Naruto asked, blue eyes flicking over him._

_"I – nothing," Sasuke muttered, shaking him off, "I just want to get some sleep?"_

_"Did something happen?" Naruto asked carefully, "You know you can tell me, right?"_

_"I know," Sasuke said, "It's just – leave me alone and stop asking so many questions! Dobe."_

_Naruto's face fell for a moment, but he immediately masked it up, smiling sunnily._

_"Alright teme, just-"_

_"Naruto," Sasuke cut in, "I'm sorry."_

_"No worries," Naruto said immediately, looking at him, "We can talk later if you want. You seem like you need your beauty sleep!"_

_Sasuke rolled his eyes, cuffing Naruto none-too-gently on the head, before heading towards the bathroom._

_When he came out, Naruto was sitting upright on the bed, fidgeting._

_"What?" Sasuke asked, slightly uncomfortable at the wide blue eyes that were fixated on him._

_"Do you – um – do you want to borrow a shirt?" Naruto asked after a moment._

_"Oh. Yeah," Sasuke nodded, and Naruto just pointed to his dresser._

_"Take what you want," he mumbled._

_"Thanks."_

_Sasuke picked a black t shirt – because there was no way he would be caught dead in orange – and slipped it on. It was a little tight – he'd always been a little taller, and more broad-shouldered than Naruto – but it fit okay._

_"So," Naruto began, breaking the silence, "Um – I guess I could take the couch-"_

_He began getting up, but Sasuke pushed him back down. _

_"Don't be stupid," Sasuke said, "That's not necessary."_

_"But the bed's not – it's not that big," Naruto pointed out, flushing, "I mean we could both fit but-"_

_"No, no, that's not what I meant," Sasuke added quickly, cheeks flaming as well, "I meant that I'll take the couch. You keep the bed."_

_"Oh," was all Naruto said, and then there was another awkward silence._

_"Well – g'night," Sasuke grunted, turning around and leaving the room._

_"Goodnight, teme," Naruto called back, "We'll talk in the morning, 'kay?"_

Sasuke was dreading the conversation in the morning; he'd have to invent something good enough to convince Naruto by then, but he couldn't possibly think of what – especially not when his mind was distracted, utterly distracted by tantalizing images of Itachi pushing him onto this very couch, lower his nude body over his own…

Sasuke's eyes fluttered shut, as he imagined the feeling of Itachi's soft lips against his own.

But when he finally fell asleep, he was a tiny little boy again. And his older brother was pulling him into his lap, into his bed, and was undressing him – and then touching him. Itachi was touching him all over, softly, gently, playfully, before leaning his head down and licking.

And then Sasuke was squirming in Itachi's bed, as his older sibling had disappeared under the cover – and he'd taken Sasuke's tiny cock in his mouth, and was sucking lightly, swirling his large tongue around it – and his tongue was large in comparison to the length of Sasuke's cock – and one swirl covered a lot more, a lot more than it usually did – and it felt sinfully good…. so sinfully good…. and his younger dream-self cried and whimpered and squealed, as Itachi devotedly sucked and licked, his large hands squeezing Sasuke's soft, undeveloped, unmuscled body.

-/_\-

_A/N - *buries self into deep, dark hole*_

_Um - yes. So that was that. You can flame me, if you want, I guess. But what would be nicer is if you'd send a sweet review :) (favoriters, wink wink, this means you!)_

_I had many requests for this, and TONS of ItaSasu fics out there actually write scenes like this - when Sasuke's little. I wasn't sure if I could handle it but I did. I guess the only redemption is that Sasuke himself is dreaming of this scene not Itachi. I couldn't write Itachi as a pedophile, I really couldn't. So I mean, I guess since it's not actually Itachi destroying Sasuke's chibi innocence, but Sasuke wanting Itachi to do the same - it makes it less dark? Or maybe more twisted? Why do I even care anymore, it's not like I can justify this haha!_

_I'm truly sorry if that disturbed anyone, but I did warn you, and there are a surprising amount of fics out there that do much worse in terms of uchibicest._

_Chibi!Sasu is just the most adorable thing though I want to EAT HIM UP. _

_Also - the latest manga chapter (**SPOILERS ALERT! DON'T READ IF YOU AREN'T UP TO DATE WITH MANGA THOUGH I SUGGEST IF YOU'RE NOT READ IT AND BECOME UP TO DATE BECAUSE IT IS GETTING EXCITING!) **yeah - it was a bittersweet confrontation. I get Itachi is a little disappointed, and also has priorities - but really, couldn't one hug have been drawn? Or some nice bonding moment? Though Itachi does imply they'll talk later, so that gives me hope that the fluffy bromance moment will come after the war. Because damnit, they both need that. I mean Sasuke was so anguished, running after his nii-san. It was sweet but - well it had potential for being much sweeter. But then Kishimoto isn't an ItaSasu fangirl, so..._


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. But I seriously wish I owned Itachi because I am falling in love with him. I actually am. And since he's not real, that's sort of bad._

_Author's Note: I am truly and extremely sorry for the long time it took to update, but I'm in university now and it's soooo busy! I have not given up, I promise! And summer is here so hopefully you'll get quicker updates, though I'm off doing a study abroad for a month now so can't make promises!  
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_Warning: M for smut and Uchihacest as usual. Though this is tamer than the other chapters. Also LOTS of angst. LOTS of it._

_Spoiler: References to latest Naruto chapter (what was it, 587 I think? The one that released on May 24th)  
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_Also want to thank my reviewers. The last 2-3 months have sort of been hell for me, lots of crap happened at once - the down time of my life, basically. But even little things like your sweet, amazing awesome reviews made my day. As dumb and cliche as that sounds, they did. So thank you. So much love to all of you. Special thanks to **Hoshi, jojo le crapaud, Sihnya, XxAngel Of MadnessxX, missbip0lar, Hira, WraithReaper, Yellow Ninja, Freya's Valhalla, Jojo, Melody, Aon, cc, necro omen13, rubitan, XXxSoraxXX, xstefidx, linkboy, I's that C, jessx123x, GD-bear, Uchihacestgirl, Anime Hottie Lovah, , inorox77, Sasukefanboy17, mistykasumi, Aon **and __for your kind and encouraging words.  
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_I'm surprised I didn't get any flames for the last chapter. You guys are the BEST. READERS. EVER. Thank you. Seriously. I know it was a bit hard to digest and distasteful for some of you, and whoever didn't like it was sooo incredibly polite and sweet and generally compliment-ish. So thanks. That's mature and you're awesome. You really are. SO MUCH LOVE. And don't worry that was the first and last of uchibicest that I shall ever write, I'm pretty certain of that.  
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_Anyways enough babbling, on to the chapter. Just wanted to tell you guys how great you are and oh Kami-sama, I am gushing and need to stop.  
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-/_\-

Sasuke was woken the next morning by a peculiar, but not entirely unfamiliar smell.

It was strong, and sharp, and certainly not a smell Sasuke was particularly fond of.

_Why am I not surprised, _Sasuke thought to himself, realizing where he was.

Naruto's apartment.

"Dobe!" he growled, cracking an eyelid open, "I'm going to kill you."

"Good morning to you too, teme!" Naruto's voice chirped back.

Sasuke sat up on the couch, and glared at his friend's blonde head.

"For breakfast, Naruto? Really?" Sasuke grumbled, "You're such a moron."

"Don't insult the ramen!" Naruto screeched.

"I'm not," Sasuke rolled his eyes, dragging himself off of the couch, "I'm insulting you."

"Hey!" Naruto snapped, still not looking at Sasuke, as he hunched over his unhealthy breakfast, which was filling the room with the distinct smell of miso.

Sasuke slumped onto the chair across from his friend.

"Give me some real food," he groused, "I'm not sparring with you on an empty stomach."

Naruto's face lit up.

"You're just scared I'll beat you, loser!"

"Hn," Sasuke shrugged, before heading over to the fridge.

He yanked the fridge door open, and was slightly surprised at what he saw; rather than just endless packs of frozen ramen meals; there were endless packs of frozen ramen meals _and_ tomatoes. An entire bag of juicy, round, ripe, red tomatoes.

"I didn't know you liked tomatoes that much, Naruto," Sasuke observed, smirking and looking over at his teammate.

Naruto blushed, before ducking his head down and slurping loudly on his ramen.

"Shinobi need their vegetables, y'know," Naruto muttered after a moment, not meeting Sasuke's eyes.

"Of course," Sasuke said teasingly, picking a tomato and grinning at his best friend who was still, oddly enough, flushing.

-/_\-

Sasuke spent the entire day with Naruto.

He badly wanted to go back to the compound – and see Itachi.

But the sight of Itachi and Deidara was something he knew he wouldn't be able to handle.

So he stayed with Naruto.

And Sasuke had to admit, spending the day with Naruto wasn't half-bad.

The blonde was cheerful to the point of getting on Sasuke's nerves, but Sasuke liked that about him, and being with Naruto was – easy. Natural.

It made him happy.

Around Itachi he often felt jumpy (or perhaps it was just one part of him in his pants that felt jumpy) and over-excited.

It was exhilarating, being with his brother.

But at least with Naruto, Sasuke had some control over his emotions, and more importantly over his thoughts – and his libido.

And some control was better than none at all.

-/_\-

"So… wanna tell me what's been bothering you?" Naruto asked suddenly.

"…no," Sasuke replied.

"Teme!" Naruto poked him, and in retribution, Sasuke sent a spark of chidori his way.

"Ow! Bastard!"

"Shut up, usuratonkachi," Sasuke said warily, batting Naruto's hand away.

They were lying on the grass, sweaty and exhausted, after what had been quite the spar.

They were both shirtless – it had been hot – and their shoulders were touching.

Sasuke realized at that moment, why, perhaps if a stranger were to walk in on them, they would interpret it as something more than just friendship.

_It's nothing though, _Sasuke told himself firmly.

"Tell me," Naruto repeated.

"No."

"Aw, Sasukeeee!" Naruto whined, stretching out Sasuke's name in that annoying way of his, "Come on, why not! I tell you everything!"

"Like what?"

"I do," Naruto argued back, "Like I told you that day when Hinata-chan was wearing this really awesome tight top that I noticed she was totally-"

"I _don't _want to hear about that," Sasuke snapped, "I didn't then, and I don't now!"

"But we're guys," Naruto insisted, "Aren't we supposed to talk about stuff like that?"

"No."

"We can talk about Sakura-chan if you'd prefer-"

"Naruto. Shut up."

"Ugh – but I – I'm your best friend!" Naruto cried, opting for a different approach.

"When did I ever say that?"

"Sasukeee!" Naruto screeched indignantly.

Sasuke smirked, as Naruto began a rant about bonds and friendship.

"-and then I saved your sorry ass from Madara and convinced you to come back!' Naruto finished triumphantly.

_Technically it was Itachi who had me convinced long before you did, _Sasuke thought to himself.

He'd never tell that to Naruto though. He hadn't.

He'd let the dobe have his spiel then, during the war, and spout out nonsense about friendship and bonds, and he'd let Naruto take credit after.

It was the least he could do and it made Naruto happy.

"Look Naruto," Sasuke sighed, "I don't want to talk about it to anyone, not even to my best friend, okay."

"You admitted it!" Naruto exclaimed jubilantly, turning over slightly and beaming at Sasuke.

Sasuke smiled softly. The dobe was way too predictable.

"I don't know why, but I guess I did."

"Teme! You're lucky to have me!"

_I know I am._

"Tch. Yeah right, dobe."

They bantered for a few more minutes, and then Sasuke flipped over so he was resting on his stomach.

He was suddenly finding it hard to keep looking into Naruto's intense, deep blue eyes.

Sparkling, bright eyes so different from Itachi's and yet –

_Itachi…_

Sasuke let his thoughts wander, and Naruto did too, and there was silence in the training ground, as both boys lay perfectly still, floating in that space between consciousness and dreams.

"_Nii-san?" Sasuke asked, as Itachi came back early – three days early from a mission._

"_Cancelled," Itachi stated, pausing, "That's the first time one of my missions got cancelled… I actually have free time now."_

"_What are you going to do?" Sasuke asked, trying not to sound too excited. _

"_Sleep," Itachi said, heading towards the bedroom, "Haven't gotten more than a total of three hours in the past week. It's been one mission after another, and I'm exhausted."_

_Sasuke found himself following his brother into his bedroom, as Itachi swiftly discarded his pack, his katana and his weapons holster, pulled off his arm guards, chest-guard and sandals, and collapsed onto the bed._

_Sasuke lay down next to him, careful to maintain his distance._

"_So you're sleeping now – that's it?" Sasuke asked, trying not to sound too disappointed or too hopeful, as he gazed at his older brother's peaceful face._

_Itachi tilted his head to the side, eyes meeting Sasuke's, and then he smirked._

_Less than a second later, he had slid over Sasuke, his body hovering over Sasuke's own._

"_Why? Do you have something better in mind?" he teased._

"_Nii-san…" Sasuke whispered, his heart racing, and he blushed under Itachi's intense gaze._

_Itachi tilted his head down, his lips melding against Sasuke's own._

"_You know I can't say no to you, not when you look at me like that," Itachi murmured, and Sasuke could feel every movement of Itachi's moist lips against his own._

_Itachi then proceeded to kiss him thoroughly, prying open Sasuke's mouth with his lips, as he rested his hard body against his little brother's._

_Sasuke bucked his hips upwards and leaned into the kiss, hardening instantly at the feel of Itachi's tongue in his mouth, and the feel of his brother's firm body against his own._

_Itachi's hands cupped Sasuke's face, his fingers stroking Sasuke's cheekbones, and Sasuke wrapped his own arms around Itachi's neck, wrapping his legs around his brother to bring their erections closer._

_Minutes later, Sasuke's shirt was off, and Itachi lips were trailing across Sasuke's bare chest. Sasuke moaned and writhed as Itachi provided him with the most exquisite form of torture, his lips and tongue hot and wet on Sasuke's skin. Itachi then scraped his teeth on Sasuke's shoulder, before sinking them slightly into his neck and sucking, and Sasuke moaned loudly._

_He'd always been a bit of a masochist himself, and Itachi loved marking him._

_It didn't take long for Itachi's hands to reach Sasuke's leg, and with one nudge, Itachi parted Sasuke's legs._

"_Nii-san-" Sasuke gasped, as Itachi slid his hand up Sasuke's inner thigh to cup his manhood through his pants._

_Seconds later and Sasuke's pants were off too, and Itachi was pumping him, as Sasuke writhed and thrashed between him._

"_Itachi – I – I'm coming," Sasuke panted, as Itachi squeezed, and pumped harder._

_His face was drawn in concentration, and Sasuke found it fascinating, and extremely erotic, to watch Itachi watch him, to see Itachi so focused and intense on him, those dark eyes filled with determination – and concern, as they flicked between Sasuke's own eyes – and his manhood._

_Sasuke tilted his head up, clutching at Itachi's back and biting his older brother's shoulder as he came, all over the sheets, and into Itachi's hands._

"_Fuck," Sasuke gasped, trembling slightly, and Itachi smirked at him, gripping his hips and flipping him over._

_Sasuke had barely enough time to get over the pleasurable shock from his first orgasm, when he felt Itachi's slick fingers tracing over his backside to push against his entrance._

_Sasuke was tight, and it took some more coaxing – gentle words from Itachi, soft kisses against the back of his neck, the shell of his ear – but soon Sasuke had completely relaxed._

_He was kneeled over, supporting himself on his elbows, and he could feel Itachi's hard chest against his back. One of Itachi's hands was gripping his hips, and the other was playing with Sasuke's manhood, yet again touching and caressing the flesh into hardness._

_And then Itachi pumped, and at the same time drove himself into Sasuke, and Sasuke gasped, because it hurt, but also because he could feel Itachi, large and hot and throbbing, inside of him, and it was the best feeling ever._

_And then Itachi pounded him, and Sasuke could feel and hear his brother's pants against his neck – Itachi wanted it as much as he did – and when they came, they came together, Itachi exploded into Sasuke, and Sasuke exploded into Itachi's hand for the second time, wracked by indescribable pleasure, his head in the stars._

"Itachi-" Sasuke choked out, his head spinning and his eyes snapping open.

"I knew it," Naruto muttered beside him.

"What?" Sasuke snapped his head to the side, his heart pounding.

"I knew it – the reason you were upset – it's because of Itachi," Naruto replied.

_Crap, _Sasuke thought, _it was another dream – and I must have said his name out loud…_

"It's because of him and Deidara, isn't it?" Naruto asked, all too knowingly.

Sasuke glared at him cursing his own mind for being so fickle, but then sighed.

He couldn't lie to Naruto very well, not anymore.

"…yeah."

"You're jealous," Naruto stated, and Sasuke was going to argue, but then shrugged.

"Hn."

"Well – you don't need to be," Naruto pointed out, "Itachi – he loves you more than anyone in the village. You know that, right?"

"I know that," Sasuke nodded, "But…"

"But what?" Naruto persisted.

"He's _mine, _damnit!" Sasuke finally burst out, sitting up and slamming his fist on the ground. "Itachi! He's _mine."_

Naruto looked taken aback, and sat up as well.

"Don't you think you're getting a _little _possessive, teme?"

"He's _my _brother, his whole life revolved around _me, _and _I'm _the one who should get to – be with him – "

"What?" Naruto looked confused.

"Spend time with him," Sasuke remedied correctly, glaring at nothing in particular, "Itachi's mine."

"Look," Naruto said, "I get you're upset, and I don't blame you. Hell, if you randomly started hanging out with – let's say _Sai _or something, I'd probably get jealous."

"I'd _never _spend time voluntarily with that replacement-"

"No, he's a nice guy," Naruto interrupted, "But still. I would. I get how you're feeling Sasuke, and I know you love to think that nobody ever understands you, but I do."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

Naruto hesitated.

"What, Naruto?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto sighed.

"Well - I mean – ever since you've been back – you've always been devoted to Itachi. I don't blame you – he's an amazing older brother – and you two deserve time together. All I'm saying is – maybe sometimes, I get a little jealous…"

Sasuke stared at him, and Naruto flushed.

"What? I'm used to being – well – you know – your closest bond, I guess," Naruto continued, rambling, "I always thought it would come back to being that – and Itachi's incredible, he is, but I know that I'm not – well – your best friend anymore – in a way, he is. And sometimes, I'm jealous of him for that."

"…"

"It helps that he's Itachi and he's probably the coolest person in the world, because if it was anyone but him, I would have rasengan-ed them in the face by now. But he's – well he's Itachi. He's awesome. So I can just be happy for him, and for you because – because he's awesome," he finished lamely.

"Ah."

"IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY BASTARD?" Naruto screeched.

"I – I don't know what to say," Sasuke muttered, "That was really creepy, Naruto-"

"What? Geez, Sasuke, I didn't mean it in a weird way, I just-"

"But I guess I needed to hear it. Thanks."

"Um – okay?" Naruto made a weird face, "Sasuke you're confusing me."

"Asshole," he added as an afterthought.

"Itachi has always been and will always be the most important person in my life," Sasuke said.

"I know that-"

"And even though you can in no way compare to him, and even if you _tried _rasengan-ing him I would kill you – or he would genjutsu your ass before you could even manipulate the chakra –"

"Hey! I-"

"But you're still second, Naruto."

Naruto stared at him for a moment, his face lighting up.

"Even before Sakura?"

Sasuke smirked.

"Don't tell her I said this because she'll punch me, but of course. It's you, idiot."

"That's awesome!" Naruto beamed, slinging an arm around Sasuke.

"Get off," Sasuke snapped, but Naruto didn't, and Sasuke didn't push him off.

"You're actually the first on mine, and unlike you, I have a ton of important people, so you should feel special, teme!"

"Good," Sasuke smirked, "That's how it should be."

"Wait what?" Naruto asked.

"I should be first on yours."

"So you're saying you're allowed to have someone before me and I'm not allowed to have someone before you?" Naruto whined, "That's not fair."

"You're not," Sasuke stated smugly, "And you don't. So it's fine."

"But – but – "

"Shut up, dobe," Sasuke said, before standing up, "Look I should go back to the compound-"

"You should," Naruto nodded, "You should also talk things out with Itachi. Tell him what you told me. You'll feel better – once you've told him, I mean."

"…yeah," Sasuke said, waving, "Later, Naruto."

He walked towards the compound, feeling much happier than he had when he'd left it.

-/_\-

"Itachi?" Sasuke called out, sliding his sandals off.

He walked towards his brother's room – the bedroom door was ajar, which was a relief.

Sasuke was about to call his brother's name again, but then he froze.

Because the scene that met his eye was unbelievable – so unbelievable – and _wrong._

_No. No. No. No. NO!_

Itachi was sitting upright on his bed.

Deidara was sprawled out on his back – but his head was on Itachi's lap.

And Itachi was allowing it.

The blonde was talking – babbling some utter nonsense -

"…so then I blew 'em up, stupid samurai… who do they think they are, un? Trying to trap me, a shinobi, and restrain my art! Blew 'em to pieces, yeah!"

He was talking animatedly, making various hand gestures, looking up at Itachi for the most part.

Itachi was silent as he watched and listened, but there was something in his eyes. A look, a tender look – and a hint of a smile at his lips.

Not a smirk, but a soft, genuine smile.

Sasuke's heart plummeted.

How often had he dreamt of Itachi looking at _him _that way, that exact way? He'd never seen such a look on his brother's face – and seeing it now – directed at _Deidara_?

Sasuke didn't think he could control it.

He didn't say a word, but his emotions had bubbled over, and his chakra spiked out wildly.

Sasuke stormed out of the compound into the alley, cursing.

Seconds later, Itachi leapt down from the rooftops in front of him, eyes questioning.

"Sasuke – you're back from Naruto's-"

"How do you even know I was there?" Sasuke demanded.

"I surmised as much," Itachi said, "But that's irrelevant, your chakra surge, I felt it, are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" Sasuke laughed manically, "Am I okay? Are you seriously asking me that, brother?"

Itachi furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Sasuke, what's going on?"

"What's going on?" Sasuke spat, "Have you _seen _yourself lately? Ever since that _terrorist _got here-"

"What does Deidara have to do with anything?" Itachi asked.

"How could you, Itachi?" Sasuke burst out, "When you knew how I – fuck, are you trying to rub it in or something?"

Itachi froze, staring at Sasuke.

"Still?" he asked softly.

"What the fuck do you mean, _still_?" Sasuke cried, "Of course!"

"I thought – after all these months-"

"You're supposed to be a genius, nii-san! How couldn't you tell? Have I really been that good at hiding it?"

"I suppose you have…"

"Well guess who I got _that _from? You hid everything from me for nearly my entire life!"

Itachi winced at this, and Sasuke felt a slight tinge of guilt but ignored it.

"Sasuke, I thought – with how much time you've been spending with Naruto, that-"

"NARUTO? Why is it always – why do you just _assume _that every time!"

"You were behaving normally with me, and spending more time with him, I only thought-"

"You know _why, _Itachi? Do you want to know _why_? Because I can't _stand _to be around you! It hurts, okay. It hurts because I know how you feel and I can't help how I do. And it's worse now! With _him _there! It's so fucking hard, to watch you – it's sick! And you don't even care, have you ever thought how it made me feel?"

"Sasuke – I'm sorry – I really thought-"

"What's your deal anyway? You and _him_? What the fuck is going on? Don't tell me _nothing _because I've seen enough to know it's not that."

"We were – together – in a sense – before you – before he died."

"Before I killed him?" Sasuke grimaced, "Is that what you were going to say? Did you hate me for killing your fucking lover?"

"I didn't say that-"

"You deserved it! You killed my family! My parents! You should know what it feels like to have someone take it away from you!"

Itachi went rigid. His dark eyes widened a fraction, and he stared at Sasuke for a moment.

He then looked away – his eyes were bright.

And Sasuke could have punched himself.

After everything Itachi had sacrificed for him – after the circumstances and what he'd been put through – after everything he'd forgiven Sasuke for – how could he have possible said something so cruel to his older brother?

His older brother, who had done nothing but doted upon him, and showed him kindness and compassion (pretended sadism and cruelty aside since that had been nothing but an act).

And they were Itachi's family too. Itachi's parents too. Itachi's parents first.

Yet, his older brother didn't say anything. Itachi just turned around, and walked away, without a word.

But Sasuke had seen his expression, and it was heart wrenching.

"Itachi – no – wait!" Sasuke ran after him, grabbing his arm, "I'm sorry – I didn't mean that. I'm so sorry!"

"It's alright, Sasuke," Itachi said wearily, "I know you didn't."

"Really? Because I swear-"

"Drop it."

"Fine," Sasuke muttered, "Fine. Just tell me how long. And what. How far."

"Do you really want to know?" Itachi asked.

"I think I have a right to. It's better I do," Sasuke gritted out.

"A little under a year. From a couple months after his first partner died – Sasori - your teammate, Sakura killed him, incidentally."

"Ah," Sasuke nodded, his heart sinking.

_That's longer than I would have thought._

Sakura had told him of the story about how she'd defeated Sasori. He found there was some poetic justice in the fact: he and Sakura, teammates, though they'd been apart then, had killed Deidara and Sasori who had also been teammates.

He'd been secretly proud of his pink-haired friend when he'd found out.

But it didn't matter now. Nothing mattered now. Except the fact that –

"So you were lovers? You've – done – stuff –"

"It would depend on your definition of stuff," Itachi murmured, "But – yes. We were."

Sasuke felt like an entire wave of freezing water jutsu had been poured all over his heart.

"Excellent," he muttered, suddenly finding it a little hard to breathe.

_No. No. Why? WHY? Itachi's MY brother! He's mine!_

"Sasuke, you hated me then. I had no idea about any of this, that any of this would happen. If I'd known-"

"If you'd known you wouldn't have? Yeah right, Itachi. You knew, this time, even if you thought it was over. And you still did."

"Sasuke-"

"I'm sorry I killed your lover," Sasuke spat bitterly, "Must have been hard for you."

"You should know," Itachi said slowly, "When I heard about that fight, I thought you had both died. And I was very upset. But I was angry with him, rather than with you."

He then turned around and left, leaving Sasuke to ponder his words.

_So you care about me more, right, nii-san? So why do you still want him when you see how much it's killing me?_

"Wait," Sasuke called suddenly, "Itachi – wait. Don't – don't walk away from me again."

Itachi paused, and turned his head slightly.

Sasuke then realized where they were, where they'd been standing the entire time.

The alleyway of the Uchiha compound. The exact spot they'd stood at years ago, when Sasuke had been a trembling, sobbing, terrified child, and Itachi had been the criminal who had murdered their entire clan.

The spot they'd had their first standoff, the one that had pierced Sasuke's heart in the worst possible way.

And yet now, Sasuke felt those familiar emotions surfacing – hurt, anger, pain, sadness, disbelief – as he attempted to grasp on to a reality that was slipping away, just like his older brother.

He didn't want to accept that Itachi had found someone else.

Just like he hadn't wanted to accept that Itachi had murdered the clan.

He didn't want to picture his brother as something different than what he'd loved, and wanted, and obsessed over and hoped for.

His perfect illusion was breaking, and Sasuke didn't want to let it go.

Itachi turned around slowly, and like back then, his eyes were cold, his face an emotionless mask.

"What do you mean?" the older asked slowly.

"I think you know," Sasuke muttered, "Where we are. What happened here…"

Itachi walked towards him slowly.

"I have never forgotten," he said.

"When I was little," Sasuke went on, "I adored you. You were everything to me. You were my world. And this is where – well, where you destroyed my life."

Itachi's face was still emotionless, though his eyes widened slightly.

"Sasuke, I –"

"I know why you did it," Sasuke said, shaking slightly, "And I don't blame you anymore. In fact I guess I'm grateful to you. But it hurt, the knowledge of what you told me then, it _killed _me-"

"I'm sorry-"

"And yet," Sasuke swallowed the lump in his throat, blinking away tears, "What you told me right now – I didn't think it was possible Itachi – but in a different way - it hurts just as much."

"…"

There was an eerie silence after that, and Sasuke exhaled loudly, biting his lips.

His eyes were stinging but he would _not _cry, not again, not in front of Itachi.

And then Itachi took another step towards him, before dropping down to his knees.

"Itachi-" Sasuke began, but then froze.

Because Itachi was shaking. His shoulders were shaking, but his head was bowed and his face was obscured by a veil of bangs.

And then he looked up and Sasuke's heart cracked.

Because Itachi was _crying._

Sasuke remember, a night from years ago, at that same spot, where he'd seen tears streaming down his brother's cheeks, like stars under the moonlit sky.

He'd thought he'd imagined it, but he hadn't, and Itachi was crying now as well, his beautiful dark eyes and hollowed cheeks wet with tears.

His eyes were filled with such pain, such unimaginable pain, and when they met Sasuke's, Sasuke felt a lurch of guilt.

It was _his fault._

Itachi was an angel. A guardian angel. And he was crying.

Angels weren't supposed to cry.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," Itachi choked, "I always thought I'd been doing everything right – but I was wrong – I was trying to protect you because you were the most important thing to me – you still are – you mean the world to me – but I destroyed your life then, and I'm hurting you now and that's – the last thing I ever wanted…"

"Nii-san," Sasuke cried, his eyes watering, "Nii-san, please don't-"

"After I died – I had so many regrets," Itachi said, "And when I was given another chance with you – I promised myself I would right the wrongs committed years ago – but I've failed, I've failed at being the older brother you longed for – then and now, both times – I failed – and I'll never forgive myself for it - it's no use being a prodigy, being a sought-after genius and master of the Sharingan – not when – I can't even be your older brother –"

"Itachi-nii-san! No! You were perfect – you are perfect-"

"Don't say that, Sasuke!" Itachi shook his head, "I treated you like a child more than anyone else – I only saw you as someone to protect – perhaps it was because you were so precious that I couldn't bear the thought of losing you – but I was wrong –"

Sasuke suddenly had a flash of déjà vu, remembering this conversation from the war, when they'd been battling Kabuto. He had told Itachi the same thing then; and Itachi had given him the same response.

"I don't think perfection actually exists," Itachi murmured, "And I'm as far from it as I can be – because I've hurt you – repeatedly – Sasuke – forgive me… I never wanted any of this from you – I just wanted you to be happy, so – please… forgive me…"

Itachi was looking at him with such a anguished expression and Sasuke just wanted to hug his brother, kiss his tears away.

"Itachi don't say that, I – I love you," Sasuke blurted out, before freezing.

_I shouldn't have said that._

But he didn't have time to say more, because at that instant, Itachi's arms were around his middle.

"Sasuke - I'm so – so sorry-"

Itachi was shaking against him, and his tears were wetting Sasuke's shirt, and Sasuke remembered the countless times as a child, when he had been crying, and Itachi had been the one to comfort him.

"_Nii-san! Nii-san!" Sasuke sobbed._

_Itachi spun around and looked at him, eyes widening in concern._

"_Sasuke? What's wrong? Are you alright?"_

_Sasuke wasn't alright, and he was hurting, and at that moment, he only needed his older brother._

_Because Itachi always made him feel better, no matter what._

_Itachi always comforted him, and made him feel safe and warm and loved._

"_Nii-san, I – " Sasuke began, before bursting into tears._

_And Itachi kneeled down, and pulled the crying child towards him, wrapping his arms around Sasuke._

"_Shh, it's okay," Itachi whispered, "I'm here now… it's alright, Sasuke…"_

_He patted Sasuke's head, running his hands soothingly down the crying child's back till his tears subsided._

"_Now," Itachi said, pulling away and giving Sasuke a gentle smile as he wiped away a tear from the little boy's chubby cheek with his index finger, "Tell me what's wrong."_

_Itachi had always been there for Sasuke._

_And then there had been that one day. One day when Sasuke had found Itachi, sitting by himself in the dark, in the dojo._

_He had a piece of paper clutched in his hands; it was Shisui's suicide note._

_That had been the night after the Uchiha police force had confronted Itachi about Shisui's suicide, the night that Itachi had lost his temper and attacked his own kinsmen, the night he'd only stopped when Sasuke had begged him to._

_There was something strange about Itachi, Sasuke had noticed._

_His brother always acted strong, and he was, but he seemed tense, and rather sad. Sasuke didn't like it._

_And that night, seeing Itachi sitting alone on the floor in the dark, an untouched plate of food (that their mother had left there earlier) sitting on the floor outside the dojo… it made Sasuke feel extremely uncomfortable._

_He pushed open the door softly._

_Itachi, who had been gazing at the crumpled letter in his fists, snapped his head up, his eyes meeting Sasuke's._

"_What is it?" Itachi asked, and though his tone wasn't cold, it didn't carry the usual warmth it always had._

"_I – I was wondering if nii-san was okay," Sasuke murmured, "I don't want to disturb you Itachi, I know you're busy – but you missed dinner – and I – I miss seeing you."_

_Itachi stared at him for a moment, before turning back to the paper in his hands._

"_I have a mission," was all he said._

"_You seem really sad and stressed," Sasuke ventured on, taking a step into the room, "I just don't like seeing you like that."_

_He slowly made his way over to his older brother._

_Itachi said nothing, but looked up after a moment, as Sasuke stood in front of him._

"_Nii-san," Sasuke murmured, "I –"_

"_It's alright," Itachi said, standing up slowly, "Come on."_

"_You should eat," Sasuke said softly, "You won't be able to do missions if you starve yourself, aniki."_

"_Don't worry yourself," Itachi said, "I'll be fine."_

"_But I do worry about you," Sasuke said, "You've been so distant. Are you upset with me? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I did, I really miss you nii-san-"_

_And then Itachi had done something surprising._

_He had dropped to his knees, and pulled his little brother towards him._

"_Nii-san!" Sasuke cried, surprised._

_He was even more surprised when he felt Itachi shaking against him._

_When Itachi looked up, his eyes were wet._

"_I'm sorry – Sasuke – I'm not mad at you – I never could be – and you haven't done anything wrong – it's just – this mission…"_

_Sasuke had never seen Itachi break down like that – his older brother was always so cool and composed._

"_Don't worry, nii-san!" Sasuke cried, throwing his chubby arms around Itachi's neck and hugging his older brother tightly, "If you're stressed about the mission, don't be, because I'm sure you'll do it perfectly, you always do missions perfectly!"_

_And then Itachi had looked at him with an expression of utter agony, and Sasuke hadn't realized what any of it had meant then._

"_I know…" Itachi had whispered, before biting his lip, and pulling himself away from Sasuke._

"_Come on, it's late and you have academy tomorrow, Sasuke. Let's get you to bed." _

It all came flooding back to Sasuke, at that moment, and he looked down at Itachi, who was still on his knees, and more open and vulnerable than Sasuke had ever seen his older brother in his entire life.

And Sasuke hugged him back, relishing the feeling of Itachi's silky hair under his fingers – but he didn't go further than that.

He didn't want to ruin this moment, this precious moment; the first time Itachi had displayed his raw inner emotions. He wanted to cherish it, without tainting it with lecherous thoughts.

He couldn't.

He was causing Itachi pain, such intense pain – and guilt.

And Itachi didn't deserve that.

"Itachi I forgive you," Sasuke said, "Even though it's me who should be asking for forgiveness… you've done so much for me and I can never give anything back-"

"You don't have to," Itachi said, his voice thick, as he looked up at Sasuke again, "All I want is for you to live the happy life you deserve, the life I once took away from you Sasuke. My entire life revolves around you. I'd do almost anything for you."

_Almost anything._

Sasuke caught the subtle twist of words – not anything, but almost anything.

"It's ok, nii-san," Sasuke said softly, his heart lurching, "I am happy, when I'm with you. I just want you to be happy too, because you deserve it more than anyone else in this world for everything you've done – and if Deidara gives you that – then I'm glad he's still alive…"

Itachi stood up slowly, and then gazed at Sasuke for a moment.

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yes," Sasuke said immediately.

It wasn't a complete lie. He did want his older brother to be happy, and after seeing how much pain it caused him – Sasuke promised that he wouldn't stand in the way of Itachi's happiness.

"Thank you," Itachi said softly, nodding, and took to the roofs.

_I guess we're back to how we were before, _Sasuke thought to himself dismally, as he jammed his hands into his pockets and stalked back to the house.

-/_\-

Itachi had a mission that night, and Sasuke opted to crash at Naruto's again. He didn't want to be stuck alone in the compound with Deidara, because he wasn't sure he'd be able to control himself from chidori-ing the blonde.

-/_\-

"Ichiraku's!"

"We went their last night, I'm _not _coming again."

"But, ramen!"

"No, Naruto. And it's only five, why are we going to dinner so early?"

"Because I want ramen!"

"If you _insist, _there's that barbeque place that's open all the time-"

"Ramen! Ramen! Ramen!"

"Usuratonkachi, _shut up! _Chidori senbon!"

"HEY! You bastard-"

Naruto lunged at Sasuke, who ducked and swung his foot, aiming a roundhouse kick at Naruto, who blocked and threw a punch.

Their little scuffle was just about to evolve into a full-blown taijutsu battle in the marketplace of Konoha, when a sudden chasm ripped across the ground, forcing them apart.

"YOU MORONS!" a familiar voice shrieked, "Seriously? In the middle of the village? Grow up already!"

Sasuke chose not to comment on the fact that _she, _with the large chasm she had created, had probably caused more damage than the two of them had.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto half-whined, half-exclaimed, "You interrupted when I was about to kick his ass! What's up though? Also he started it! Nice to see you by the way, come for dinner with us!"

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Not ramen," she said, ignoring Naruto's subsequent sulking.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun," she greeted amicably, turning to the other boy.

"Hey, Sakura," Sasuke nodded, "Do you want to come for barbeque? I'm not hungry but the idiot here wore himself out sparring me, so-"

"Hey! I did not!" Naruto shouted, "I totally kicked your ass today, believe it!"

"Drop the catchphrase, dead-last, it sucks like you-"

"Seriously," Sakura shook her head, "You two will never grow up. Though incidentally, I saw – um - Itachi-san and Deidara sparring earlier, they're a lot like you-"

"Wait, you saw my brother?" Sasuke asked, ignoring the fact that Sakura had started blushing the moment she'd said Itachi's name, "He's back from his mission, then! When and where?"

"Oh, just now, at the compound," Sakura said shyly, "I went there to find you, Sasuke-kun, and Naruto, since his apartment was empty."

"They were sparring at the compound?"

"Yeah… it seemed pretty intense," Sakura said, "I don't know why they didn't go to a training ground considering Deidara has a propensity to blow things up. How's that going, by the way, having him around?"

"Nii-san and Deidara were sparring at the compound?" Sasuke repeated, suddenly tense.

"Yes, and you don't need to worry," Sakura said, her blush deepening, "Itachi-san is – um – he's very good and – um – I'm sure he'll win, really – he's amazing, nobody can beat him so – um –"

"Sakura, seriously, stop," Sasuke glared at her, and she did.

Naruto snickered.

"Well, I'm going to the compound," Sasuke said suddenly, leaping up.

"What? Why!" Naruto yelled after him, "What about dinner?"

"You and Sakura go find a place to eat," Sasuke called, "I'll join you in a bit."

-/_\-

Sasuke had a weird feeling about Itachi and Deidara's 'spar'.

Itachi had sparred with Deidara before, countless times. He knew how destructive the blonde was and wasn't foolish enough to suggest a spar in the compound.

Moreover, if Itachi had just gotten back from his mission, more fighting was the last thing he would want to do.

Their 'spar' probably hadn't been as much of a spar as it had been an argument; which, when between shinobi, especially S-rank ones, tended to get rather destructive.

Sasuke's suspicions were confirmed, as a large white bird circled over his head once, before landing right in front of him.

A furious blonde jumped down, and glared at him with a surprising animosity.

"YOU!" Deidara spat out viciously, "You fucking brat! I know it was your fault!"

Sasuke was taken aback by the venom in his voice. Deidara looked and sounded positively murderous.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"Don't 'what' me, yeah!" Deidara growled, clenching his fists, "What the fuck did you tell him? What's your fucking problem, un!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sasuke shot back.

"My ass, you don't! Can't you give him a break, hm? Don't you know what he's been through? What we've been through! You fucking asshole, I'll blast you to pieces, yeah!"

Sasuke froze.

"Did Itachi – _dump _you?"

Deidara looked livid.

"He didn't fucking – he didn't _want _to!" the blonde exploded, shaking, "I know he didn't – it's your fault. You made him choose! You messed with his head and you made him – fucking – choose!"

"And he chose me," Sasuke stated quietly.

"Of course he did!" Deidara shouted at him, "Itachi loves you – and he'd do anything for you – and you're so _fucking _selfish, you bastard! You manipulated him, yeah! You made him feel guilty! I _know _you did-"

"He told you?"

"He didn't _tell _me anything," Deidara cried his voice thick. He was shaking, whether from out of anger, or something else, Sasuke couldn't tell.

"He didn't – really give me a reason – but I've known Itachi for _years, _you brat! I've been his teammate, yeah! I knowa little bitabout his past, and though he didn't tell me details, I know enough about his personality to guess that he wasn't actually the cold-blooded murderer he pretended to be. None of us were!"

"What-"

"You don't know what it's like!" Deidara shouted, his voice screwed up, "You have no idea what any of us went through – what your brother went through! I was – there for him, yeah! I was there for him when –"

"Just get to the point," Sasuke said flatly, feeling rather numb at the realization that Itachi had chosen _him, _that Itachi had dumped his lover of _years, _for _him._

"He was there for me – after Sasori no danna died – and he always cared about you – and you guilt-tripped him and took advantage of his feelings for you – and you took him away from me – you – YOU SELFISH FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Deidara roared, before hurling a bunch of bombs at Sasuke.

"KATSU!"

"Chidori stream!" Sasuke yelled, running the electricity outwards into the air and nullifying the bombs.

"I'LL DESTROY YOU, YEAH!" Deidara screamed, "You ruined something beautiful – and I can't forgive someone who messes with perfect art!"

He sent more bombs Sasuke's way, but Sasuke managed to deflect them all with his chidori sword.

"What use will that be, you lunatic?" Sasuke spat, "Itachi will kill you if you lay a finger on me, you know it! Moreover, I already defeated you once, I can do it again!"

"Fuck you!" Deidara shouted, shaking violently.

He clenched his teeth, his blue eyes shimmering, and burning with fury.

He mounted his white bird, and glowered at Sasuke.

"The only reason I'm letting you live," Deidara hissed, "Is because I know how much you mean to Itachi. And unlike you, I care for him enough that I wouldn't try to destroy something that's important to him, yeah!"

And then he had taken to the skies, circling over Sasuke's head.

"I don't know how you two are related, un, because you are nowhere _close _to anything like Itachi!" Deidara called out, his last words before he disappeared into the horizon.

-/_\-

Sasuke rushed back to the compound, his heart thumping in his chest.

He found Itachi pretty quickly, sitting perfectly still on a large boulder, amidst a pile of rubble. There were burn marks everywhere.

All undoubtedly caused by his 'spar' with Deidara earlier.

"Why did he leave, Itachi?" Sasuke asked.

Itachi didn't look at him, but just continued to stare, straight ahead.

"We had a disagreement," he replied finally, after a moment.

"Is this because of me?" Sasuke asked.

"Don't worry yourself, it doesn't concern you."

"But – I ran into him – and he said-"

"He was upset, and angry. People often say irrational and untrue things in such a state," Itachi replied calmly, standing up.

"Nii-san…" Sasuke began, but he was at a loss of words.

"I have a mission," Itachi stated, "I have to go."

"Again?" Sasuke couldn't help but explain, "You just got back from one-"

"This one is a week long," Itachi added, clenching his fist.

"What? But-"

Itachi unclenched his fist, and something white and powdery streamed down from his fingers.

"I know things have been – strange between us, Sasuke," Itachi said, "But I promise that once I come back from my mission, I'll make it up to you. Everything will go back to normal, like how it was before, okay?"

He glanced over at Sasuke for a brief second, and Sasuke wanted to say something, but then Itachi had disappeared.

Sasuke exhaled heavily, and then sat down, just where Itachi had been sitting moments ago.

Itachi's words rang in his head.

_It doesn't concern you. I'll make it up to you. Everything will go back to normal, like how it was before, okay?_

Sasuke glanced downwards, and the little pile of white powder that Itachi had been holding. He reached out.

It was soft and smooth, and slightly sticky between his fingers.

Clay.

It wasn't as if Sasuke needed convincing of the fact, but he truly knew that Itachi was the kindest, most caring, and most self-sacrificing person in the world.

_He's sacrificed enough for you already, don't you think, _an angry voice, sounding a lot like Naruto, berated in his head. _This was one thing he had left! Did you really have to make him sacrifice that, lose that for you as well? After everything he's been through for your sake?_

Sasuke hated himself, he really did. The image of Itachi sitting alone, and rigid, amidst the rubble, kept haunting his thoughts. Followed by the image of Itachi down on his knees, tears streaming from his eyes.

_You can't do this to him. It's selfish. It's cruel. It's wrong. He's your brother. He deserves better than this, than you._

"I wish I was enough," Sasuke murmured, "I wish I was enough to make everything better for you… to make you happy, nii-san…"

-/_\-

That night, when he dreamt, he dreamt of Itachi, vulnerable and crying. And Sasuke would hug him, and hold him, and kiss him, till it all went away, and till Itachi was content to just lie with him in bed and make love to him.

And after that he dreamt of Itachi on his knees again, in the alleyway of the Uchiha compound, looking up at Sasuke with that same desperate expression, saying the same words.

"_I'm so sorry – please forgive me, Sasuke – I'll do anything –"_

And then dream Itachi unzipped Sasuke's pants, took his cock in his mouth, and licked and sucked and swirled his tongue around Sasuke's throbbing manhood, while Sasuke threaded his fingers through his brother's hair.

And after Sasuke came, Itachi looked up, and Sasuke's heart jolted.

Because there were still tears, streaming down Itachi's cheeks, and his eyes were red, but not from the Sharingan.

And suddenly, Itachi was gone, and Deidara was standing there, looking livid, and shouting.

"_He always cared about you – and you guilt-tripped him and took advantage of his feelings for you! Unlike you, I care for him enough that I wouldn't try to destroy something that's important to him, yeah!"_

Sasuke woke up, sweating, his sheets drenched.

"Fuck," he swore into the night, "Itachi… I'm the one who's sorry…"

-/_\-

_Author's Note: Hm, that was fun. And you can skip the author's note and review (please review, my loves, pleeease) but I tend to write author's notes because I feel you all are people that I can talk to and express myself to since we are all clearly thinking on the same (slightly depraved) level._

_I really wish I knew you guys in person. I do.  
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_Okay. Enough of that. Haha, sorry, I've been extremely emo lately.  
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_So yeah, Sasuke's being a bit of a selfish dick, but he's prone to do that as the manga shows. Inside he's just a squishy ball of Itachi-loving fluff and that'll surface eventually. Oh, and he's also a perv. Haha. In case you didn't catch that. Lol. He's confused and tries to be martyrish but fails because he's so possessive. _

_And yeah, that SasuNaru - could happen, may happen, may not, who knows?  
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_Next chapter will have more ItaSasu erotica though, sorry if this fell a bit short but I'm on a time crunch.  
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_And OMG the manga how great is he? Like when Itachi fights, he's badass and owns everyone. But now, even when he opens his mouth to talk, everything that comes out of his mouth is epic and badass and gems that should be treasured. We should all make a shrine and devote our lives to Itachi because he is divine. We should kiss the ground he walks on, sleep in his old discarded Akatsuki robes - okay, I need to stop. But I'm seriously obsessed with him, how perfect can he be! He's hot (or realllllly well-drawn haha), kind, self-scarificing, compassionate, badass, epic, awesome at every jutsu, owns everyone - and he's still humble and philosophical and just - wow. I could wet myself intellectually and have a braingasm just thinking about him. And on top of that, physically just - wow. Ok. Stopping. Now. *blushes furiously*  
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_I'm such a fangirl.  
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_But he's perfect. Even Sasuke said it! And that was probably his best line of the manga, since off late he's been saying absolute shit. (anyone noticed that I quote the chapter. Did ya? Did ya?)  
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_And finally - I was watching the English dub ItaSasu fight. And OMIGOD Crispin Freeman! His voice is orgasmic. I don't actually usually watch english dub, prefer the japanese with subs - but that voice - is - WOW.  
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_And I made my first ItaSasu AMV yayyy! It sort of sucks and the quality of the video is bad so I'm too embarrassed to upload it anywhere really. It's on the song Always by Saliva, and it makes me happy. If any of you are interested seeing it, PM me, I guess, but it really sort of sucks video quality-wise.  
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_That's all, friends! (finally, she stops rambling!)  
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_xxxxx  
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_HighQueen  
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